8 Signs Of Desperation That Turn Men Off, According To A Guy

Ladies, brace yourselves because it’s time to hear some harsh truths. While this by no means applies to all of you, there are some women who will occasionally act in a way that comes off as desperate and needy, quickly turning off guys who might otherwise be interested. To help you avoid making similar mistakes in the future, I’d like to share some major red flags you might be displaying so that you can hopefully avoid them.

  1. Too much talking To be fair, some women are just a little chatty, and that’s okay. However, non-stop talking can come off as a sign of neediness and desperation. In a way, it’s the behavior of someone who wants to be in the spotlight and needs to be the center of attention all the time. Again, this doesn’t apply to all women, but women who do nothing but talk about themselves can turn guys off. It’s almost like they’re trying to convince us how great they are. I mean, you wouldn’t want to date a guy like that, right? It’s definitely one of those things that goes both ways.
  2. Sending follow-up texts I know that guys aren’t always great at texting back right away, but that doesn’t mean you should send follow-up texts. If it’s not an emergency, show some patience and trust that he’ll text you back if he’s interested. In fact, there may be no bigger sign of desperation than sending him a string of texts while waiting for him to text back. Remember that guys aren’t always huge fans of texting. Therefore, don’t judge his interest by how quickly he messages. Plus, you’re likely to drive him away by sending him too many follow-up texts.
  3. Telling him you’re “looking” for a boyfriend This may sound odd, but most guys don’t like hearing that you’re looking for a boyfriend. It might be true, but that’s not information that needs to be shared as soon as you meet someone. From our perspective, it makes dating seem like a job interview. It also makes you ladies desperate to find someone, as if you’re willing to settle for anyone who wants the gig. Most men don’t want to proceed like that. We’d rather let the relationship unfold naturally rather than you trying to turn everyone you meet into your next boyfriend.
  4. Jumping ahead in the relationship Along those same lines, don’t talk about long-term plans early in a relationship. Let’s be honest, nobody should be discussing marriage or kids with someone they’ve known for a week. This just makes you desperate to jump ahead rather than allowing things to unfold at their normal pace. I get that you’re eager to find out a guy’s bottom line, but I promise it’ll turn off men so fast. Just give it a little bit of time before asking about a his long-term vision for the relationship.
  5. Fishing for compliments Look, I know that we all love hearing nice things about ourselves, but that doesn’t mean you have to go out basically begging for them. Too many women will ask certain questions or steer the conversation in a way that almost forces a guy to offer a compliment. It makes it so obvious that you need validation, which is not an appealing quality. Just be patient and trust that a guy who likes you will praise you naturally.
  6. Insulting other women I know that dating seems like a competition, but it’s really not. You don’t get anywhere by insulting other women as if you’re trying to convince a guy that you’re better than them. Most guys can see right through that act as desperate and insecure. In case you’re wondering, both of those qualities are a major turn off for guys.
  7. Spending all your time on social media Come on, ladies, relationships are real life. They don’t take place online or on social media. Don’t post passive-aggressive rants about the state of your relationship or post selfies with other guys just to make a guy jealous. It’s the ultimate “look at me” move that reeks of desperation. It makes it so obvious that you’re playing games, which will turn most guys off.
  8. Turning up unannounced and unwelcome Some women may think it’s cute to orchestrate an “accidental” bump-in with a guy. But believe me when I tell you that it seriously throws a guy off balance. Don’t stop by his place without an invitation or leave something behind so you’ll have an excuse to come back. You also don’t want to “coincidentally” run into him because you saw where he was going on social media. You know that’s the kind of behavior of a stalker, and you’re better than that! Such behavior is super-desperate behavior and will turn a guy off in a hurry.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.