When you’re in a relationship, you should be able to trust your partner to care for you, treat you with respect, and to act accordingly with your best interest in mind. However, there are times when the vibe in your relationship is less then stellar and in fact, you’re starting to feel like your partner just isn’t treating you well. Here are some signs of emotional abuse you may miss in your relationship that need addressing ASAP.
- Control At no point should your partner ever be trying to control what you do, where you go, who you talk to, or anything else. You’re a grown woman and are capable of making your own decisions and having your own life. If your partner tries to stop you hanging out with your friends or seeing your family or tells you what you can wear or what you can do, that’s a serious problem, not to mention one of the biggest signs of emotional abuse.
- Yelling It’s normal to raise your voice during an argument, but if your partner is always yelling at you and using it as a way to intimidate you or make you feel small, that’s not right. You’re both adults and should be able to communicate calmly and without shouting. A partner who uses screaming as a way to belittle you or shut you down is not one who respect you.
- Blaming Nobody’s perfect, and we all do things sometimes that are wrong. We unintentionally hurt each other or mess things up – it happens. However, if your partner is always blaming you for everything that happens and all of their bad behavior, that’s one of the major signs of emotional abuse. The inability to take responsibility for their actions doesn’t just display a lack of maturity, it makes them manipulative and narcissistic.
- Gaslighting If your partner regularly makes you feel like you’re crazy (or even tells you that you’re crazy) when you bring up a valid point or mention something that’s bothering you that they’ve done, you’re being gastlit. Emotional abusers like to make it seem like you’re overreacting or that you’re out of line when you respond to their actions, but really, it’s another way of making you doubt yourself. Don’t fall for it.
- Stonewalling If you’ve never heard this time, this is basically just giving the silent treatment. A partner who shuts down and refuses to speak to you when you do something they don’t like or you call them out on something is one who is emotionally abusing you. This is immature, inappropriate, and never allows you to solve the problem between you. What’s the point?
- Threatening It goes without saying that one of the major signs of emotional abuse involves making threats. If your partner gives you ultimatums or threatens to leave you if you do something they don’t want you to do, they’re completely out of line. Even worse is if the threats they make are physical in nature. If this is happening, you need to get out ASAP.
- Contempt Your partner should love you and show you that on a daily basis. If you’re met with contempt instead and your partner is regularly making you feel like they outright hate you for no reason, you’re the victim of emotional abuse. You deserve so much better.