Sometimes being undateable isn’t a bad thing—not all guys can handle a bad boss chick. If you feel like you’ve been single for too long, you may need to stop questioning what’s wrong with you and start recognizing what makes you great. In the long run, it will serve you better to keep warding off all the losers while you wait for a real man to recognize his valuable lady. Here’s why most guys may find you intimidating and why that’s not your concern.
- You’re not impressed with their money. Guys with nothing else to offer will resort to trying to buy your admiration. They’re basically using their wealth as a bargaining chip to hold over your head later. Whenever you try to question their loyalty and intentions, they will throw back in your face how much they’ve given or spent on you. Money can’t buy substance in a relationship and it won’t make up for lack of a personality or thoughtful, priceless effort.
- You have your own life. You’re not hanging on your phone doting over a text or call from him and that scares him. He openly complains about needy and clingy women, but deep down he needs the ego boost from receiving attention and having some form of control. Well, too bad, ’cause you’re just too busy to chase him. Maybe if he had more going for himself, he would be able to respect and appreciate your independence. It’s not a competition.
- You have sophisticated/cultured taste. You have expectations for dates. Splitting a Wendy’s 4 for 4 simply isn’t going to cut it. You want a night on the town or a small day trip. You want to see a willingness for creativity, adventure, spontaneity, and diversity from his outing ideas. The bar is set high because that is where you aim to reach in life. Don’t water yourself down or hold yourself back for someone who isn’t ready to step up to the plate.
- You have goals. Millennials are anything but lazy. We’re all out here rocking multiple streams of income and planning our next steps. You’re too busy being a goal-getter to concern yourself with dropping everything you have going for yourself in life for him. Unless he has something tangible to bring to the table, you’re likely already doing it all by yourself.
- You have a real sense of humor. You’re not just going to laugh at anything he says because he said it. If he wants to get a genuine chuckle from you, he needs to be legitimately funny. Corny creeps need not apply.
- You enforce boundaries. His manipulation tactics come to a screeching halt immediately when he finds you. You’re already hyp to love bombing, gaslighting, breadcrumbing, and the list goes on. You know your worth and you see reality clearly. Of course, he’s going to pass over you, but you didn’t want that abusive nightmare anyway. Show him the door.
- You’re financially stable. He can’t swoop in to ‘save you’ by paying your bills. You don’t need a ride because you already have a car. Basically, the whole Prince Charming saves the day for the damsel in distress scenario is null and void here. Once again, he’s going to need more to offer.
- You’re vocal. Of course, you’re respectful, but beyond that, you express your needs. You communicate your likes and dislikes. You don’t tolerate being spoken to any type of way and especially being called out of your name and you will let him know. He may not get used to being called out, but if he wants to keep you in his life, he’d better adjust. Otherwise, let him go.
- You don’t drag your feet. When you want something, you go for it. You don’t tolerate any less from your partner either. If he wants to spend time with you, he’ll put in the effort to text and call. After a few dates or months, he should know if he wants a title. You’re not OK with being strung along, and rightfully so! Guys can become so complacent when they’re with a woman who doesn’t put her foot down. Don’t get trapped in one of those relationships where you’ve put in years with no end in sight for a ring (if that’s what you want). It’s perfectly fine to have a loose timeline for when things should happen.
- You have other options. I’m not saying you’re out here flirting with other men or cheating on your partner, but when you’re a confident attractive woman who has her act together, people will naturally take notice. That means any guy who is lucky to have you should not only value who you are but also continues to treat you like you’re worth impressing. That’s a tall order for someone who was trying to half-ass his way through an easy relationship.
We’ve all wanted to change ourselves for a guy or accepted less than we’ve deserved, but we have to stop blaming ourselves for why relationships with these lames didn’t work out and start being happy they didn’t. Keep scaring off bad news and leave the space open for a winner.