12 Signs He Has Feelings For You But Isn’t Ready For A Relationship, According To A Guy

Just because a guy has feelings for you doesn’t mean that he’s going to be a good boyfriend. There’s no doubt that this can be frustrating, but the best thing you can do is recognize when a guy isn’t ready to be in a relationship so you don’t waste your time. Here are some signs that he’s just not on your level right now.

  1. He won’t put a label on it. You should always be suspicious of guys who avoid labels. Unless they have a good reason (I mean a good reason), these guys aren’t the relationship type. A guy like this surely isn’t ready for something serious.
  2. He makes spontaneous plans. A guy who calls you to make spontaneous plans does indeed like you. It’s also hard not to fall for the spontaneous and adventurous type, but it’s problematic if he doesn’t make future plans with you. It’s a sign that he’s not ready for a relationship because serious relationships will require more than just spontaneous hang-outs and hookups.
  3. His compliments are all physical. It’d be way too cynical to think that a guy who showers you with compliments doesn’t like you. Just be aware if a guy’s compliments are all about your physical appearance. This means that he’s more interested in how you look rather than who you are. It’s a sign that he’s not ready to go any further than skin deep, which means he’s not fit for any kind of serious relationship.
  4. He makes promises he doesn’t keep. If a guy likes you, he’ll obviously try to make promises because he thinks it’ll make you happy. The trick is that he has to deliver on those promises. I mean, anyone can make promises, right? If he says things but doesn’t follow through, he clearly can’t handle being in a serious relationship.
  5. He’s talking to other women. This one should be self-explanatory. It’s hard to get a guy to stop talking with multiple women and commit to a relationship with one of them. To be fair, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. He wouldn’t be talking to you if he didn’t like you, but if you know he’s also chatting with others, don’t get your hopes up for a relationship.
  6. He doesn’t open up emotionally. If you want to be in a relationship with someone, you’ll have to open up emotionally. Even early in a relationship, a guy should show some willingness to open up. If he can’t do that, he’s definitely not ready to be in a serious relationship. You can try if you want, but the bottom line is that he has to be able to open up.
  7. He keeps bringing up his ex. Needless to say, this should be a red flag. She can be out of sight, but if he keeps bringing up his former girlfriend, she’s not out of mind. In fairness, it’s okay to talk a little about past relationships, but a guy shouldn’t keep bringing up an ex unprompted. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you. However, it does indicate that he’s not ready to move on and start a new relationship.
  8. He’s lacking self-confidence. In a relationship, both people need to believe in both the other person and in themselves. That means the guy believes that he’s good enough for you and that he can make a relationship work. Of course, this is unrelated to how much he likes you. If you sense that he’s lacking confidence in himself, he’s probably not ready to be in a serious relationship.
  9. He’s super into his career. This is always a catch-22 for folks. It’s not easy being in a serious relationship while going full-steam ahead with your career. The two simply don’t mix. If a guy seems to be obsessed with his career, it doesn’t matter how much he’s into you, he’s not ready for a relationship.
  10. He picks his friends over you. Out of all of the possible red flags, this is one of the worst. Usually, early in a relationship is when a person abandons their friends for a new love interest. If he’s picking his friends over you early on, he won’t stop doing it after things get serious. That means that he probably isn’t mature enough to handle something serious and understand the sacrifices he must make.
  11. He’s hesitant to meet your family and friends. We all know that this is an inevitable part of every relationship. To be fair, most guys aren’t going to be super eager to make that step, but if he isn’t willing to meet the people in your life without you forcing him to, it says all you need to know about the future of a relationship, even if he says he likes you.
  12. He suffered a personal tragedy lately. Unfortunately, this is something that is completely out of your control. It could be a variety of events, but any kind of personal tragedy is going to put someone in a bad place emotionally. Odds are, a guy dealing with a tragedy isn’t going to fit for a relationship right now, even if it seems like he has intense feelings for you.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.