You’ve been dating for a few weeks or maybe even a few months and things are going well. The chemistry’s on point, there are no major red flags, and you’re excited about the future. You have a lot of affection for the guy and you’re pretty sure he feels the same. However, you haven’t vocalized your feelings just yet because you don’t want to get ahead of yourself. However, if you pick up on these signs, he wants you to say “I love you.”
When is the right time to tell someone you love them?
- You’ve gotten to know who they are as a person and you love what you see. While you may believe in love at first sight, you’re probably better off declaring your undying adoration until you know the other person well enough. If you’ve spent enough time with him that you feel like you know all the big things and still really like him, that might be a good time.
- Your chemistry and compatibility are solid and exist on more than a sexual level. Wanting to jump each other’s bones 24/7 is fun and all, but that’s lust, not love. You need chemistry and connection on a much deeper level if you’re ready to profess serious feelings. If you’re on the same page about all the things that matter, that’s a good sign.
- You’ve experienced their flaws and they haven’t changed your feelings. When a guy is putting his best foot forward in the beginning, it’s easy to be enamored with him. However, you might want to say you love him once you’ve experienced all his worst sides and still feel just as deeply for him. When you can take their imperfections in stride and are still head over heels, you’re on the right path.
- You’ve stopped yourself from saying it many times before. He might want you to say “I love you,” but if you want to say it too and have had to hold yourself back from doing so in the past, that’s a good sign. Your gut doesn’t tend to lie, so if there’s a natural inclination to utter those three little words, maybe it’s the right time.
- Your relationship future is looking extremely promising. You’ve talked about the future and you’re actually looking forward to building one together. You can perfectly envision the next five months or even five years with him by your side.
Signs he wants you to say “I love you”
- He always gushes about how lucky he is to have you. He always tells you how fond of you he is. He feels so fortunate to have met you and to have you by his side. He can’t stop himself from gushing about his feelings for you, but he stops short of using the L-word. That’s what he means, though!
- He loves planning your future together. He invites you to weddings months away. He talks about going on vacation together next summer and actually starts looking at flights and hotels. He acts like you being part of his life long-term is a foregone conclusion. It’s actually really sweet.
- He seems like he’s always holding himself back from saying it. This is one of the biggest signs he wants you to say you love him. He’s desperate to say it to you, but maybe he’s feeling nervous about how you’ll respond. If you say it first, then he can be sure of where you stand.
- He’s extremely physically affectionate outside the bedroom. It’s one thing for him to be cuddly and affectionate when he thinks it’s going to lead to sex. However, when he holds your hand as you walk down the street or gives you a kiss for no reason, that means something. He clearly cares deeply about you and wants more than sex from you.
- He encourages you to talk about your feelings a lot. Most guys shy away from conversations about feelings and aren’t into the mushy stuff. However, he might encourage you to open up about your emotions more, especially if he wants you to say you love him (or is hoping you might).
- He introduces you as his girlfriend to his family and friends. Hopefully, you’ve had this discussion and he doesn’t just ambush you with this! Assuming you’re on board with this, taking this step for him is a big deal. It’s likely a huge indication of his feelings for you, as well.
- He outright tells you he loves you. Of course, if he finds the courage to tell you he loves you for the first time, he’s hoping you’ll reciprocate. That doesn’t mean you should do it if you’re not feeling it just yet, but he’ll be keeping his fingers crossed.
What to do if you’re not ready to say those words just yet
- Don’t feel pressured to say it before you’re ready. Just because he’s a bit ahead of you in the feelings department doesn’t mean you need to push yourself to be there too. You may get there soon, it may take a little longer, or you may never get there. All of those are okay. Be true to yourself always and don’t allow yourself to be swayed by pressure.
- Show him how you feel rather than using words. Maybe you do love him but you don’t want to say it just yet, for whatever reason. That doesn’t mean you can’t convey your feelings in other ways. There are loads of ways to show someone you care without saying a word, and these gestures may even mean more.
- Vocally express how much you care about him and love being with him. Maybe you don’t use the word “love” but you still tell him how much you enjoy his company and how happy you are when you’re with him. This shows him that you’re invested in the relationship. In addition, it essentially conveys that you’re on the same page even if the L-word is a little tough to say just yet.
- Be patient with yourself and him. He may be disappointed that you’re not ready to say those three little words, so try and understand where he’s coming from. Also, give yourself time to get comfortable in the relationship. If it’s meant to be, you’ll know when the feeling is right. When you want to say “I love you,” you (and he) will know you really mean it.