Signs He’s Never Going To Be Your Boyfriend Or Make Things Official

No matter how badly you want to be in a relationship with someone, there are just some people out there who will always be out of reach. Regardless of what you do, they’ll never make things official with you. It’s better to know how to recognize those people to begin with, so you don’t waste your time on them. Read on for some clear signs he’ll never be your boyfriend or make things official.

  1. He never brings up the future. If he never talks about the future with you, it’s a sign that he doesn’t envision you in his future at all. Whether he changes the subject when you bring it up or refrains from bringing it up himself, he won’t want to discuss the topic at all with you if he doesn’t plan on including you in his life for the long-term.
  2. He won’t end things with his ex. Does he say that things are complicated with his ex? That’s a red flag. If it’s been a reasonable amount of time and he won’t cut the cord with his ex? You can probably assume that he never will cut the cord. It’s okay to still be friends with an ex, but he can’t start an official relationship with you if things are still murky with his old flame. He’ll never be your boyfriend if he still wishes he was hers, and it’s important you recognize the signs.
  3. He won’t tell his friends or family about you. When a guy is serious about you, he’ll usually introduce you to his friends and family. And when he’s not serious about you, he won’t. Why would you introduce someone to your people if you don’t plan on keeping them around? Unfortunately, this is a dead giveaway that he doesn’t want to make things official with you. At the same time, he won’t want to meet anyone in your life if he’s not planning on sticking around for very long.
  4. He’s seriously inconsistent. Mixed messages are a red flag. If he’s all over you one minute and then you don’t hear from him for weeks, it shows that he’s not serious about you. Rather, he’s more than likely keeping you around for when he feels like seeing you. But if he wanted to be your boyfriend, he would want you all the time, not only when he’s lonely or when it’s convenient.
  5. You can’t have serious conversations with him. When two people are in a serious relationship, sooner or later they’ll have to have some serious conversations. But if he shies away from ever talking about anything meaningful with you? It could show that he doesn’t want to be in that serious place with you. Instead, it shows that he wants to keep things light, fun, and casual with you.
  6. He’s said that he doesn’t believe in relationships. This is a pretty huge red flag that he’s never going to be your boyfriend. If he’s made a point of telling you that he doesn’t believe in relationships, then he’s probably trying to hint that you shouldn’t expect to become his girlfriend.
  7. On social media, he only acknowledges you privately. The way a guy interacts with you on social media can reveal a lot about how he feels about you. If he comments on your posts and tags you in things, it means that he’s happy to be publicly connected to you. Contrastingly, if he only privately messages you, it could show that he doesn’t want other people to know that you two have a thing.
  8. He doesn’t want to be your date. If he doesn’t want to get serious with you, then he won’t want to tag along as your date to various events. When you have family weddings, barbecues, gatherings with your friends, or work functions that you need a plus one for, he won’t volunteer. And if you ask him, he’ll always have an excuse as to why he can’t come along.
  9. He doesn’t use the word “date”. Another language-related sign to look out for is the word “date”. If he doesn’t want you as a girlfriend, he probably won’t use the word “date”. Instead, he’ll ask you to hang out with him or catch up with him. That terminology makes things feel much more casual.
  10. He only texts you at certain times. When a guy does want to be your boyfriend, you will be his priority. He’ll make real time for you in his life. But when it’s just casual, he’ll only text you when it’s convenient. If he only contacts you when he’s drunk, late at night, or at the last minute before he wants to hang out, consider it a sign that he will never be your boyfriend. And nor does he deserve to be.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.