10 Signs He’s Not Looking For Something Serious

You’ve always been open and honest about the fact that you’re looking for a long-term relationship, so you assume the guy you’re seeing is on the same page, otherwise, he wouldn’t be dating you, right? Unfortunately not. Here are 10 signs he’s not looking into the future with you at all.

  1. He talks only about himself. The date starts with the simple what do you do, where are you from questions and ends with you knowing everything about him, down to the name of his first pet. He spent the whole date blabbering on about all his accomplishments and details of his life without even showing interest in all of the amazing things there are to know about you. This guy is only looking to be in a serious relationship with himself or a mute.
  2. He won’t stop talking about his ex. When you first start dating someone, you don’t need to know about their last love. If they feel like sharing too soon, they’re probably not over their ex. If he starts saying negative things about her, he’s really not over her. He needs to let go of his built-up anger from getting his heart broken before getting into anything serious again.
  3. There’s a majorly intense kiss at the end of the first date. The first date went really well and the chemistry is there, so he leans in for a kiss goodnight. All of sudden, you’re in a full-blown make-out session. As sexy as this may be, he’s just hoping this kiss will turn into an invite back to your place. If he’s looking for something serious, he won’t find it in the back of your throat.
  4. You end up sleeping with him on the first date. It’s 2019 and women are powerful, independent leaders who are on their way to ruling the world and should never be judged for having sex when they want. But if you want to have sex on the first date and he does too, this usually sounds like a fun hookup rather than the beginning of a serious relationship.
  5. He asks you to split the bill. If a man is a potential suitor for a future relationship, you’re worth it and he should pick up the tab on the first date. If he can’t afford it, he shouldn’t choose to go out to a nice restaurant. Instead, he should plan a cheap and fun date. A hike, picnic in the park, coffee? It’s not that you can’t or are unwilling to pay for yourself, but if he doesn’t even offer, that’s not much of an investment on his behalf, is it?
  6. He’s emotionally unstable. He’s recently lost someone close to them, lost his job, or hit a bump in the road and don’t know which direction to turn. Best of luck to him—hopefully he can get back on his feet, but it’s not your job to help him get there. He needs time to hear, reflect, and focus on what comes next for him in his own journey before making room for any type of serious relationship. 
  7. He lives far away. If you meet someone who’s in town for a month visiting from France or anyone else who’s only in your city temporarily, it’s not going to work! The fantasy of having a long-distance relationship probably prances around in your mind, but the truth is that takes work. Plus, when you’ve just met someone, you just don’t have enough time to get to know them to build a serious relationship when they live far away.
  8. He introduces you to his friends too soon. It’s nice to meet your guy’s friends. You can tell a lot about him from how he acts around them and what they have to say about him. But when he brings you around them too soon, that’s not his intention. He’s putting you on display to see what his friends think about you. If he isn’t man enough to see how awesome you are on his own, he clearly doesn’t deserve to be in a serious relationship with you!
  9. He makes you come to him even if it’s out of the way. When you’re planning where to meet on a first date, he should make it easy and plan something that’s convenient for you. You should not be driving across town or getting stuck in traffic to meet someone for the first time. As relationships grow, of course there should be a compromise, but in the beginning, he should be making you feel special and not have you do all the work.
  10. He asks you to meet him late at night. He wants to be lazy and not plan a proper date. He wants to meet you late hoping that one drink will turn into two, three, four, and then back to his place. Don’t fall for this at all. If he can’t make real time for you during daylight (or at least early evening) hours, don’t waste your energy.
I am a writer and musician from Los Angeles, CA. Proud mama to my Blue Heeler, Gatsby. Lover of wine, cheese and all things French! Frontwoman and songwriter of the LA based band Rivers And Suns.