You might be thinking you’ve finally got a good guy on your hands and it’s time to retire the dating apps for good, but you also get the feeling that things aren’t quite right. Maybe his words don’t match his actions even if he swears he loves you and wants to be with you. Here are some subtle signs that he’s not as serious as he claims he is.
- He rarely ever includes you in his plans. A guy who is serious about you will be excited about weaving you into most aspects of his life both present or future, even with the little things. He’ll take your needs into consideration when making decisions. Would he rather spend the weekend hanging out with friends without inviting you? If he keeps leaving you out of plans or never considers how you’ll feel about them, that’s a warning sign you shouldn’t ignore.
- All your conversations are superficial. There’s nothing wrong with talking about the weather or that new show you can’t get enough of, but you can’t grow a relationship without delving into the big stuff too. If he’s not interested in discussing meaningful issues like work, aspirations, feelings, or your respective childhoods, he’s probably not looking to forge deep or long-lasting emotional connections with you.
- You’re the one doing all the chasing in the relationship. Who seems to be making all or most of the effort to keep the relationship afloat or make the other person happy? The balance should be equal, not one-sided. If all he does is take and take without reciprocating, he’s definitely not as serious about you as he has led you to believe.
- He gets antsy when you talk about commitment. If you feel like you can’t talk about the future or commitment without scaring him off or he gets uncomfortable when serious topics come up, he’s probably not as invested in the relationship as you think.
- You go days without seeing or hearing from him. In a mutual and healthy relationship, you’re both putting in the work to be present in each other’s lives. However, if he can go days or weeks without speaking to you or informing you beforehand that he’s going to be off the grid, that’s a big problem. Pay attention to how he reacts when you don’t text or initiate contact for a few days.
- He keeps forgetting important things. When you have to keep reminding him of something, it’s probably because he doesn’t care enough to note it down. It could be date nights, anniversaries, something he’s supposed to do, stuff about your work, the way you like your coffee, or even the things you’re allergic to. If he can’t be bothered to remember things that matter, you need to reevaluate where you stand with him.
- You get the feeling that he’s not fully letting you in. He might say that you’re a couple and in a committed relationship, but he’s restricting you to only a small corner of his life. You can tell that he’s holding back from sharing more of himself with you. That’s a sign you should pay attention to.
- His signals are mostly mixed and inconsistent. A man who is serious about his intentions with you is going to make sure his actions show it clearly. He’ll text, call, and make active plans to be with you. He’s not going to be hot one moment then leave you hanging the next. He won’t leave you wondering where the relationship is headed.
- There’s a line separating you from his family and friends. You might as well be a ghost to his friends and family because you haven’t met them. In fact, you’re not even sure they’re aware of your existence. If he seems to be keeping you away from the people who matter to him or constantly puts them before you, it could mean he doesn’t take the relationship seriously.
- Beyond physical intimacy, he doesn’t really spend time with you. A physical connection is very important, but it shouldn’t be the only way you’re connecting with your partner in a serious relationship. He should want to spend time with you and get to know you outside of the bedroom.
- He’s still keeping other women around. Unless you’re in a poly-relationship, a guy who is serious about wanting a relationship with you should not still be snooping around dating apps or consistently flirting with other women. He should be focused on building what he has with you, not keeping his options open.
