Over time, your amazing partner has started showing some signs that they might not have it all together like you thought they did. Here are 10 signs they’re not very emotionally well-adjusted after all.
- They don’t really show their emotions. You’re constantly trying to guess what they’re feeling because they’re incredibly hard to read. Instead of having their heart on their sleeve, it’s tucked way up inside their shirt. Perhaps it’s a fear of vulnerability. They think that if they show who they really are, they could be rejected so they hold their emotions really close, away from contact with other humans. This leaves you feeling disconnected.
- They need to constantly showcase their achievements. When they do something they’re proud of, they tell everyone. It’s showcased on their Facebook, Instagram, and anywhere else they can possibly post it. There’s nothing inherently wrong with being excited about your accomplishments. It just might spell trouble when they’re obsessed with sharing and they draw their self-worth from the attention.
- They let their anger get the best of them. Anger is a normal and healthy emotion—it’s when it boils over is when it starts to become a problem. For example, they raise their voice during arguments with you. This is scary and totally disrespectful. Not being able to control anger is obviously a sign of someone not being as emotionally well-adjusted as you thought.
- They’re really thrown off course by stress. We all go through difficult times and many of us struggle to deal with stress but we manage. Unfortunately, your partner totally loses it when they stress. They freak out, worrying about every little thing that could go wrong and it just totally makes them lose their cool. This is a sign that they’re maladaptive and don’t have the best coping mechanisms.
- They harp on issues. Rather than being able to process something and move along, the problem sticks with them. Even after you two have worked it out, they’re still talking about whatever it was. It’s like they’re unable to move on or they love arguing. I imagine they go to sleep at night (or try to go to sleep) thinking all about the issue and going over it with a fine-toothed comb.
- They don’t own up to any of their baggage. This person has baggage galore. They don’t have a shortage of problems leftover from their ex-partner. This stuff spills into your relationship. For example, they have a huge fear of abandonment, but instead of acknowledging and working on that fear, they blame you. They just aren’t able to take responsibility for what’s theirs, leaving you constantly being the one who’s “wrong.”
- They describe people in their past harshly. Their ex-partner is always called a “psycho.” They speak about them as if their ex came roaring through their life like a hurricane destroying everything in sight. In reality, relationships are more complicated than this and there are often two sides to a story. Their obsession with tearing people apart is a sign that they could do that to you.
- They’re too available or not available enough. Maybe they’re free all the time. They’d hang out with you at the drop of a hat, which is concerning because don’t they have anything to do? On the other hand, they could be totally aloof. You barely see them and it’s like pulling teeth to make plans. What gives?
- They may have an addiction. Whether it’s booze, drugs, or some behavioral issue, a sign of someone who’s obviously not well-adjusted is addiction. Perhaps they’re trying to hide these issues from you or they’re blatantly obvious to you. Either way, this isn’t good. An addict has to want to help themselves if they want to get better and it’s hard to maintain a healthy relationship with someone in active addiction.
- They make you feel like something’s off. This is perhaps one of the greatest indicators that there’s a problem. When your intuition is shouting that there’s something off about this person, it’s a good time to listen to it. It may be an indicator of danger or just of someone not quite being the person you want in your life. Your intuition is rarely wrong.
