11 Signs Your Partner Definitely Isn’t “The One”

You might think (or hope) that your partner is perfect for you, but are they really? Time to tear off the rose-tinted glasses and see what’s really in front of you. Here are 11 signs you haven’t actually found “The One” quite yet.

  1. You worry things will change. It’s normal to worry at times that your partner will change their mind about you, but make sure that you’re not always on such rocky territory. A relationship that’s healthy for you will make you happy and confident to be in it – it won’t cause you to fear that something tragic is going to happen.
  2. You have changed. Even if you’ve changed for the better since meeting your partner, not all good changes are good for you. Yes, you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone a bit more and you’ve come out of your shell, but make sure you don’t lose what makes you, you!
  3. You never fight. While you might think that never fighting with your partner is a good sign that you’re perfect for each other, this isn’t true. Healthy couples fight. It’s a fact. As long as the fights aren’t toxic, they can help partners to grow together and bond.
  4. You try super-hard with their family. It’s admirable to try to be nice to your partner’s loved ones, but where do you draw the line? What if they’re really toxic or mean to you? If they’re causing you to feel bad about yourself and it feels like your partner doesn’t do anything to stand up for you, that’s a far cry from a perfect relationship and it will cause you huge problems down the line.
  5. You’ve taken on all the emotional support. You know that you own the key to your happiness and can pull yourself out of dark days by giving yourself self-care and love, but it’s not a good sign if your partner never makes you happy or supports you. If you’re carrying all those roles on your own shoulders, that’s not cool. It’s like you’re in a relationship with yourself.
  6. You’ve chosen their dreams. It’s fantastic to feel included in your partner’s view of the future, like by supporting them in the dreams they wish to achieve. But what about your dreams? If your partner isn’t doing the same thing for you, you’re not with your perfect partner.
  7. You’ve changed your whole life for them. All relationships require changes to be made by both parties. For example, you might have to pack up your life and move it to a different state or country. What’s not okay, however, is if you’re making unhealthy changes to your life, such as pushing away loved ones because your partner doesn’t approve of them.
  8. You’re too similar. While this might not be a problem for you in your relationship, it’s something worth considering. It’s great to share the same values and interests as your partner, but a few differences in your energies and interests is crucial to keep things interesting. Otherwise, you won’t be challenged enough or explore new and exciting adventures.
  9. You don’t feel good about yourself without your partner. Your relationship should make you feel good about yourself, not just when your partner’s around but when you’re alone too. If you can’t concentrate on the rest of your life or nothing else interests you, that’s a bad sign that you could be co-dependent.
  10. You’ve got red tape around some issues. If you’re with someone who deserves your time and love, you’ll be able to communicate with them about anything. You won’t feel weird or uncomfortable about talking about things on a deeper level, out of fear that they’ll mock or ridicule you or just not “get” you. You shouldn’t feel like you have to censor what’s on your mind.
  11. It’s you against the world. While it might seem romantic to say that you and your partner are a team against the world, that’s not healthy in the real world. For example, if no one in your family likes him or his friends are always criticizing you. You shouldn’t have so much drama around you. It could be pointing to other problems, such as concerning your compatibility. In addition, you should never feel that you only have your relationship going for you. What about the rest of your life? 
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.