A relationship is supposed to be a union of two equals, and that definitely ain’t happening if your boyfriend thinks he’s your boss instead of your partner. When you’re dealing with a possessive man, you not only feel like you’re constantly under his thumb but you might even worry for your safety if his controlling ways were to go too far. Here are a few signs he thinks he owns you and how you can put a stop to them ASAP. If that doesn’t work, you’ll just have to kick him to the curb.
- His hackles go up the minute you interact with another male. Whether it’s your longtime colleague or your best guy friend from high school, your boyfriend loses his mind whenever you talk to another man. Suddenly it’s like he’s some wild ape in the forest, puffing up his chest and standing with his arm around you a little too tight to show the world that you’re his. It’s not cool – in fact, it’s kinda gross. Make sure you point out that you’re with him, not these other guys, and that should be enough for him. If it isn’t, that’s his problem.
- Every time you go out with your friends, he won’t leave you alone. You go out to the bar with your girls just to dance, have a few drinks, and unwind after a long week at work… and yet somehow your boyfriend still finds a reason to text you 900 times that night. Whether he’s telling you a pointless story about something the cat did or asking if you’re “okay,” if you can’t go out without him being on your case, that’s one of the major signs of a possessive man. Let him know when you go out that you’ll be turning your phone off to concentrate on your BFFs instead of the screen you stare at all week. If he loses his cool, he’s gotta go.
- He tries to control what you wear. He never wants you to go out with a short skirt or a revealing top, but he frames it because he’s just so concerned for your safety and wouldn’t want anything “bad” to happen to you. In reality, he’s trying to control what you wear because he’s afraid if you look too good you’ll get attention from other men, and he can’t cope with that. (And to be honest, he’s probably right – you’re hot!) Let him know he’s your partner, not your parent, and that you dress yourself. He thought you looked pretty damn good when you first met, didn’t he?
- He wants to be your number one. Obviously the guy in your life is a priority, but you do have other things going on, just as you should. A possessive man expects you to drop everything to be all about him 24/7, and that’s not only unrealistic, it’s also incredibly toxic. Insist on continuing to have a full, complete life outside of your relationship. He can be part of it – and if he doesn’t want to, he’s free to go.
- He’s all over your social media. Under every single post you put up, there’s your boyfriend with his heart emojis or some declarative statement about how he’s so glad you’re his. Boy, if he doesn’t chill out… It’s kinda hard to tell him that he doesn’t need to be all over you on social media, so maybe just hide his comments when they pop up if they get extra annoying. However, if it’s too over-the-top, you’ll have to tell him to relax.
While it’s great that he seems to care about you, what your boyfriend needs to remember is that showing signs of being a possessive man are completely unattractive and borderline dangerous. If he can’t get a hold on his insecurities and allow you the freedom to just be, the relationship is never going to last.
