Is Your Relationship Low On Passion? 16 Signs You Need To Get The Spark Back

All relationships go through phases, and sometimes the passion element is hotter than at others — that’s just life. But go too long on a downswing, and things can start to feel less like the relationship you once knew and loved and more like one you’ve always dreaded. It doesn’t mean it’s doomed, but it does mean it’s time to spice things up. Here are some warning signs that your relationship is a little low in the passion department and needs the flame reignited.

  1. You’re fantasizing about everyone but him. It can be totally normal to have fantasies about and even crush on other men… but at the end of the day, some of that heat should be directed straight at your number one.
  2. He’s stopped doing anything romantic whatsoever. Wooing you isn’t going to last forever, but you do want to feel like the guy cares about having you around.
  3. You have some built-up resentment towards him. Doesn’t matter what it’s about — wherever resentment is growing, it can threaten to put the breaks on the lovey dovey stuff.
  4. You could really use a good cuddle. From someone other than your dog, preferably.
  5. You’ve felt that brother vibe from him. The last thing you want to do is feel like you’re related to your boyfriend, but sometimes his behavior is more little bro than anything else.
  6. There’s nothing playful going on. Hell, you can’t even remember the last time you guys had a real make out session.
  7. You look forward to alone time. You can’t wait for him to head home some days so that you can have alone time for, ahem, alone time with yourself.
  8. You’ve wondered if he’s cheating on you. Which probably isn’t true, but you’re certainly picking up on something being different.
  9. You’re prioritizing everything but him. Not just work is coming ahead of your relationship, but cleaning out your desk drawers and every other busy task you’ve never done suddenly become appealing.
  10. Wine is your real boyfriend. Getting down with the man in theory could be a stress reliever, but you prefer the consistency and accountability of wine most evenings. Wine always gets the job done.
  11. You’ve let real distance get in the way. He’s been traveling for work more, but you just roll your eyes when your friends suggest you step up your sexting game.
  12. The two of your have gotten competitive. It’s harder to tap into the part of you that’s crushing on him when you actually feel like physically crushing him.
  13. You’re in a transition phase. Nothing can nix passion as quickly as stress, no matter where it’s coming from.
  14. The routine has gotten old. Wherever there’s a strict routine in a relationship, the less room there is for excitement to surprise you.
  15. You’ve felt a little unsexy lately. Who knows why exactly, but you’re not feeling your hottest and his lack of passion at the moment isn’t doing too much to help.
  16. You’re not having sex. Oh yeah. If a healthy sex life was once a part of your relationship and now it’s not, that’s a good sign.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog