11 Signs You’re Suffering From “Date Blindness”

Date blindness is when you’re so set on being with the guy you’re dating that you’re totally blind to his negative qualities and flaws. Here are 11 signs it’s happening to you—the sooner you recognize them, the sooner you can begin seeing clearly.

You laugh at his flaws. He straight up tells you he’s an a-hole and instead of asking follow-up questions to get to the bottom of it, you laugh it off. You should believe what people say about themselves even if it seems like they’re joking—there’s often truth to it. You’ll only have yourself to blame when you’re the victim of their bad behavior.

You believe he’s better than he presents himself to be. You stick to your guns of who you think the guy is (or who you want him to be) even when he shows you little signs that he’s someone totally different. He might be a contradiction but that’s OK in your opinion. You just focus on the good qualities and ignore the bad. For example, you might focus on how he’s so ambitious and successful in his career while turning a blind eye to the fact that he’s super arrogant.

You want to believe he’s worth it. You have your sights set on this guy and this relationship so your desire to believe that he’d be good boyfriend material totally clouds your thinking. You shouldn’t need to be told that this is a terrible idea.

You’ve created a story of him in your head. Maybe he showed you how great he was early on but now he’s slipping off his pedestal a bit. You’re holding onto that positive image of him and creating stories in your head that he’s perfect for you. You might tell yourself that he’ll go back to being that person when really, that was just a façade to get you to like him.

He’s better than guys you’ve recently met. If you’ve been meeting really shady guys, a guy who seems normal or even average might seem much more amazing to you than he really is. But make sure you’re not just trying to make him seem worthier of being your boyfriend. See him for what he’s like on his own instead of comparing him to other men. Remember, you deserve the best, not just someone for whom you should settle.

You’re distracted by his good looks. This is a common way that you might be blinded by someone. If he’s extremely handsome, it can make you think that he’s going to be as awesome on the inside. Or, you might confuse lust for love. Try to spend time getting to know what he’s like before getting physical with him as that can further cloud your thinking. It’ll pay off because you’ll see if he’s the whole package or he’s missing crucial pieces of his personality you need in a boyfriend.

Your friend set you up with him and raved about him. If you were set up on a date with this guy by a mutual friend, it’s easy to think that the way your friend sees him is what he’s really like, but bear in mind that someone can be a great friend but make a lousy boyfriend! You need to listen to your own thoughts and opinions to make the best decision.

You ignore the small signs that something’s wrong. He’s a bit impatient and moody on the first date but you ignore it. He hints that all his exes are crazy, which strikes you as unsettling, but then you put your concerns aside. Don’t write off those small red flags because they often end up becoming bigger worries! It’s better to focus on them and try to understand more about them. Ask him questions. Listen to what he says. It will save you a lot of time and energy.

You’re avoiding your loved ones. It’s normal to want to spend every waking moment with the person you’ve started dating, with the result that you neglect your loved ones. But ask yourself: are you sure you’re not avoiding those closest to you because you know they wouldn’t approve of your new partner? Maybe by avoiding them, you can continue fooling yourself into thinking that he’s perfect for you when he’s really not.

You try to dress up your doubts. When you’re not around your partner, you can’t help but be riddled with doubts like wondering if he still likes you or if he’s with someone else. He’s shrouded in mystery, which you try to tell yourself is appealing. Honestly, you can’t dress up someone’s flaws into something good. It’s just not going to happen—and it’s going to hurt you.

You’re love-bombedYou weren’t sure if you wanted to date the guy or not, but then he showered you with so much love and attention that you ended up falling for him. Wait, what? Either you like the guy or not! Don’t get persuaded into feeling things for him just because he seems crazy for you. If your gut’s trying to tell you something, it’s best you listen up before it’s too late.

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