12 Signs You’re Still Subconsciously Waiting For The Guy You Swear You’ve Moved On From

Things didn’t work out between you for whatever reason and you know they never will. At this point, you’ve given up all hope and you’re not greener pastures. But are you really? You might say that you’re over the guy and moving on, but are your thought patterns and actions reflecting this? Maybe not. Here are 12 signs that you could be subconsciously waiting for him.

  1. You’re hesitant about accepting invites from people. You can never give someone a straight answer about whether or not you’ll see them. It’s like you’re afraid to commit yourself to something because part of you would rather be with your crush. But the thing is, if he’s not making plans to be with you, then why should you be denying yourself a full, fabulous life?
  2. You’re always keeping some nights free. You don’t like to over-schedule your week or weekend. You tell people that’s because you need some free time, but honestly, you just don’t want to be in a position where you can’t see the guy if he gets in touch and wants to hang out at the last minute. But what about the rest of your life?
  3. Your friends are worried because they never see you these days. You’ve taken yourself out of your social circle lately and that’s probably because you’re always trying to keep some days free to see that guy. When your friends start noticing that you’re always making excuses for why you can’t see them, that should be a red flag that you’re waiting on someone in such a way that it’s getting in the way of your social life and happiness.
  4. You’re strapped to your phone. You don’t let five minutes go by without making sure your phone is within earshot just in case he texts or calls. Why are you making yourself so available to him?
  5. You wear a fake wedding ring. You don’t want guys to ask you out because you’re holding out for this crush of yours, so you wear a fake wedding band. It seems over the top, but hey, it makes you feel like you’re taking yourself off the market. If you do that, then maybe the law of attraction will work in your favor and your crush will want to be yours. Um, no. It probably doesn’t work that way.
  6. You tell people you’re dating someone, but you’re avoiding dating. To avoid being questioned about your dating life, you tell people that you’re dating someone but it’s still at the casual phase. The truth is, you have your crush’s face in mind when telling people that you have someone.
  7. You drop everything for him. You’re out with friends or someone new and your crush phones you. He wants to see you now. Instead of telling him that you’re busy, you drop whoever you’re with to go see him. He probably thinks you were waiting to hear from him, and you can’t really blame him because that’s exactly what it looks like.
  8. You check your phone in the early hours. If he has the tendency to text you after midnight, you might have gotten into the habit of leaving your phone on and checking your messages when you get up during sleep. Is he really worth that much dedication? Besides, if he’s only contacting you in the early hours, he’s not making you a priority.
  9. You’re the first to make plans. When you want to see him, you invite him out. It seems that you’re always the one to make plans, and you might do this so that you’re not left waiting around on the weekend, wondering if you’ll see him. By taking charge of the situation, you can feel like you’re in control but you’re not. You’re still revolving your schedule around him.
  10. You tell your BFF you’re busy even if you’re not. Your BFF invites you out two weeks in advance but you say no. The weird thing is you don’t even have plans. So what gives? Truth is, you don’t want to have to be scheduled into something in case your crush rocks up at the last minute and asks you out. The last-minute guy is not boyfriend material!
  11. You hang around. If you work with the guy or see him at social events, you sometimes end up just drifting around in the hopes of seeing him. You might say you’re just going for a walk or you’re staying behind after work to get some stuff done, but don’t lie to yourself. If you’re trying to run into him “accidentally,” you’re trying to make things happen. It’s a lot of effort and if he’s not actually reciprocating that need to see him, then it’s a red flag. You’re making yourself too available to him.
  12. You worry you’ll be seen when out with a male friend. You’re not dating that guy anymore, but you can’t help but worry that he’ll spot you out and about with your attractive but platonic male friend and think you’re dating someone else. That guy’s on your mind so much, you might not even realize you’re thinking in this way. It’s like you’re on your guard the whole time, thinking about him. But is he thinking about you, and would he even care if you moved on?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.