Sometimes you can’t help but feel like a lump on a bump on a rump—that’s just life. We all have those days where we don’t feel our best but you don’t have to let that negativity take over your life. If you’re in the middle of one of those hellish days, read this—it should make you feel a little better.
- No one will ever judge you more harshly than you judge yourself. When I came to this realization, it completely changed the way I saw myself. If you think about it, no one will ever be as focused on you as you are. Even if your hair is a mess or you feel fat that day, if someone notices, they aren’t really losing sleep about it because guess what—they’re either too busy doing that to themselves or legitimately don’t care. Relax knowing that you are your own harshest critic.
- Studies have shown that we are more attractive than we think. Did you know that people generally see you as being 20% more attractive than you’d rate yourself? People are pretty good at zeroing on the positive attributes of a person versus noticing the negative. If you’re a young woman, chances are that you have more attractive qualities than unattractive ones from the get-go. Try to focus on the good things because that’s what everyone else is noticing.
- Everyone has their nose in their phones anyway. People are so distracted nowadays. Now that we have the entire world in our pockets, we’re constantly checking our feeds and sending messages to our friends instead of actually looking up and taking in what’s around us. If you don’t feel too hot on a particular day, don’t sweat it because no one’s looking at you and if they are looking at you, they aren’t thinking all the terrible things you’re thinking about yourself.
- You may not be model hot but you’re still normal person hot. If you follow models on Instagram and look at fashion magazines, stop! That crap is fake—even that casual pool shot on your favorite model’s Instagram feed is definitely Photoshopped. There are tons of apps out there to tweak color, cover up blemishes, and make people look thinner and trust me, ALL of these models are using these apps. If they weren’t, they’d be very vocal about how their picture is “natural” and #nofilter (and some of them even lie about that). Stop looking at these unrealistic examples of beauty and start appreciating your own!
- Most people find people more attractive after they get to know them, so give yourself a chance. Even if you feel like a total slob, remember that it’s your personality that forms attraction, not your looks. Your looks will get you a minute or two of initial attention, but once people find out that you have low confidence and are negative about yourself, they’ll be like, “Eh, nevermind.”
- Our generation is the most attractive in history due to natural selection. Look back at photos of people in old-time England or Ancient Greece—not the most attractive people ever. Rest assured knowing that you’re the hottest you’re going to get given your specific genes and family origins. Yeah, that’s kinda silly to think about, but hey, whatever works…
- What makes someone “attractive” is totally subjective and changes from person to person. Look at it this way: the majority of straight women on this planet will agree that Channing Tatum is hot. On the other hand, not every girl thinks Adam Driver is hot but the ones who do are pretty obsessed. There are plenty of people out there who would find you super hot and would maybe even obsess over you even if you’re not the Channing Tatum of females. You’re not the most popular choice, but people who love you will swear by you.
- Smiling faces are found to be more attractive than neutral faces. When have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and sincerely smiled? You’re always examining yourself when you look in the mirror, looking for everything that’s wrong instead of appreciating what’s right. You’re most attractive when you’re just being free and happy, something you rarely ever get to see in yourself when you’re looking in the mirror. Know that people are seeing your best face when you let go and have fun.
- One of the most attractive qualities you can show people is that you’re human. If you can look frumpy and disheveled but still be OK with it and even own it, you’ve won. You don’t always have to be looking your best—that’s not why people value you. If you can accept the way you look, others will see that and admire you for it.
- Like attracts like. Consider for a second that people aren’t looking at you thinking, “Ugh, that girl is a mess!” but “Hey, she looks like me!” There are people out there who think that people who don’t put too much effort into their appearance are cute and endearing. It’s crazy but true. Keep in mind that these people looking at you will never recognize this unless you recognize it first, so work with what you’ve got.
