Is there anything more fun than when you first send your friends that “I think I like someone” text? You know the one I mean. The one that prompts a wave of indulgent gifs, squeals, and complex in-jokes getting cashed in about previous relationships. Either way, when you start to sense that special connection with someone, you know you’re in for a wild ride. Maybe it won’t turn out perfectly, but this is where we make the most compelling mistakes. It might be difficult to put into words, but when you know you have that unexplainable connection with someone, it’s so satisfying to shout to the world about it.
- You can’t stop thinking about them. They start to occupy all your aimless thoughts and vague fantasies. The image of your future romantic prospects narrows and defines itself into the image of your crush. This is where things get interesting. You think about them constantly and always find new ways to relate your day-to-day life to them. What they’re doing, what they’re thinking. If they’re thinking about you. Especially the latter. You just can’t help it, you’re into them. In a big way.
- You talk about them constantly. Suddenly, all those years that you spent denigrating your friends who spoke about their partners constantly makes a lot more sense. You feel a little bad, looking back, at the way you dismissed them. You feel how they felt. That earnestness. The hope. The desire and the desire to be desired. We’re all human, and it’s a sign of intense attraction that you talk about them. To any willing or unwilling listeners.
- You want to learn about their past. Anything connected with them. You want to know all about the things that made them the way they are. Their friends, family. Weird relatives. You want it all. Your connection with them isn’t superficial or physical. It’s more well-rounded than that. Unexplainable, but obvious to all involved.
- You want to be part of their future. The next step from learning about their past is writing yourself into their future. It’s a love language of sorts. Your commitment to another person. You can see how the right person suddenly makes you forget all the control issues you had in other relationships when you weren’t as connected. This is why no relationship is ever a mistake that you should regret. It’s all a learning opportunity. You sometimes need to make a mistake to know that you can’t make it again. It also shows you how good you have it when you get the real deal.
- Your friends are jealous. This is always a fun point of reference. It’s a great feeling to be proud of who you’re seeing. That’s a sign that you’re really comfortable with them. You get to laugh at your friends who put your relationship on a pedestal. You know it isn’t as simple as all that, but you have a rock-solid connection to work with. It’s fun to boast about the people you care about.
- You feel comfortable. Comfort in a relationship is an absolute godsend. You will never know anything like it until you find it. The issue is, you will look back on past relationships and realize how on edge you were. How anxious. That’s not how all relationships are. If it’s real, you’ll know it.
- You don’t overthink things. If you’re anything like me, you could overthink at the Olympics. However, when you’re discovering that you have an unexplainable connection with someone, all those anxieties will melt away. Or at least, they’ll be more manageable. You will deal with them together, as a pair. You won’t internalize things as much and will learn how to assert your needs more decisively. These are learned skills, but when you’re not wasting time overthinking things, everything becomes a heck of a lot easier.
- You’re the best version of yourself with them. None of us need another person to make us whole. Never doubt that. But it doesn’t hurt when they make you feel so comfortable that you can explore new parts of your identity and personality without fearing judgment. You can discover new parts of yourself with the right people.
All this to say, when you have an unexplainable, spiritual connection with another person, your life will be sunshine and rainbows. Well, actually it won’t, but you will be the strongest form of yourself and you will overcome those hurdles together.