So you think you’re in love, but it’s happening at such a fast pace that it’s raising eyebrows. There are always exceptions where people know they’ve found “The One” after a short period of time and it actually works out, but relationships are so complicated complicated that you’re better off waiting to be sure. After all, if he really is Mr. Right, what’s the rush? Here are 6 signs you might need to slow down a bit:
- You’re still learning big things about him that should’ve been disclosed upfront. If you moved in or got engaged but you’re still finding out crazy things, like that your partner has a kid or he’s in $50k worth of debt, then you’re moving too fast. Keep in mind that lies and secrets take some time to come out. The dating period is all about learning about each other and figuring out if you’re compatible. There are things you should figure out before moving in together or even deciding to get serious, so take your time.
- A lot of people are telling you to slow your roll. We often block out other people’s opinions if we disagree, but sometimes they’re right. In the moment, you might feel like it makes sense to move at your pace because everything feels perfect, but on the outside, everyone can see an impending car crash just waiting to happen. If more than one person is telling you this, then they may be onto something.
- You can’t answer basic questions about the person you think is “The One.” If you don’t know your partner’s last name, birthday, or things about his family, then you might want to slow down. When we’re falling for someone, all of those things might slip past or seem insignificant. However, if you end up walking down the aisle, only to find out the next day that he isn’t who you thought he was, then you’ll be wishing you slowed things down.
- The first fight hasn’t happened yet, but you’re all in. “We never fight” is often said by people as if it’s a good thing. The reality is that couples fight, and it can be healthy and productive if you know how to fight fair. Not fighting or even disagreeing can be a sign that you’re still in the stage when you’re on your best behavior, meaning you haven’t seen the real person yet. Wait until you’ve both hit the reality of the hardships of being in a relationship to see if you’re good at communicating and settling problems together.
- You haven’t met the most important people in his life. If your partner is close to his family and friends but you haven’t met them yet, slow down! You should know if you mesh well with the people in his life, and you learn a lot about a person from the people he surrounds himself with.
- You’re not over your last breakup. Giving yourself time to heal and reflect is necessary after heartbreak, but we often rush past it. This could lead to us bringing unneeded baggage to the new relationship or being in a situation we don’t even want for the sake of proving to the world that we’re lovable. Slow down if you know you’re still not over your last relationship to prepare yourself for the next one.