If you’re a hot mess, you might feel like you attract drama wherever you go, without realizing that you could be causing it to happen. Maybe you’re always in a mad rush and wonder how other people manage to juggle all the aspects of their lives without looking like they’ve survived a tornado. Or, maybe your relationships are basically one disaster after another, and you’re caught up in the storm. Here are some signs you’re a hot mess and how you can start getting it together.
1. Your Mind’s All Over The Place.
You’re usually distracted because you’ve got loads of stuff going on, and it doesn’t help that you’re super-disorganized. It’s hard to keep track of all your thoughts, and this can cause you to forget things, like meetings that should’ve been in your phone calendar and where your keys are. It’s time to start keeping a note app on your phone to sort out your life.
2. You’re Knee-Deep In Debt.
If you’re bad with money, this can cause you to become a hot mess with your finances. Maybe you’re splurging all the money you earn in your job on fancy dinners or you can’t seem to stop using your credit card for new clothes on a whim. Having debt affects your life in so many negative ways, such as by causing you anxiety. Here’s a smart money tip: when your salary comes in, put most of it into a savings or investment account immediately so you only use what you have for essentials and force yourself to stop the splurge.
3. Your Dating Life Is One Disaster After Another (Sweetn Can Help With That).
If you keep ending up on dates with players and losers who are nowhere near on your level, something has got to change. That starts from within, and our sister site, Sweetn, can help with that. They use research-backed methods to help you overcome limiting beliefs and retrain your mind to get rid of toxic habits. The result? A love life that’s much more fulling and sustainable. Check them out here.
4. You Don’t Know What You Want.
If you don’t know what you want out of life or from relationships, you can become a hot mess because you waste time on the wrong things and float around without an M.O. For example, if you sign up for university courses and then bunk ’cause you hate them, only to sign up for other things and end up in a tizzy and debt. Yikes. While it’s good to experiment, you need a vague idea of where you’re going so you don’t burn your wheels too much. Take some time out to think about who you are and what you want out of life.
5. You’re Chronically Late.
If you’re always running late for stuff, it can make you feel anxious and appear unprepared for things. Getting to a job interview late is a serious no-no that can wreck your job prospects, while being late to social events can make your friends feel like you’re super rude. It’s time to slow down and enjoy the moment without getting everywhere breathless and stressed. Plan ahead for meetings and events and set your watch 10 minutes ahead to give you a head-start.
6. You’re Attracted To Dramatic People.
It’s easy for your life to become a hot mess if you surround yourself with drama. People who carry drama into your life will cause your head to spin and make you lose track of what you’re supposed to be doing. You’ll be doing what they want, helping them out of stressful binds, and forgetting about your needs. Nope! You don’t need it. Set some healthy boundaries for yourself so you won’t let people take so much from you.
7. You’re A Relationship Hopper.
Do you jump from one relationship to the next, with no single time in-between to catch your breath and regroup? If so, you could be dragging emotional baggage into new relationships and avoiding your emotions from previous breakups. You might lose yourself to the highs of a new romance, but soon you’ll feel like you’re lost. Force yourself to take a month or two after a breakup to feel the pain, work out your next steps, and relish in time alone – it’s so empowering.
8. You’re A Big Gossip.
If you love gossiping on the regular, be careful that it’s not messing with your life and making people dislike you. You could be the queen of the grapevine, but you’re giving yourself a bad reputation. Spreading gossip can get you tangled in drama and ruin your life, ruining your relationships and causing you to become isolated. The next time someone says, “Hey, did you hear…?” tell them you don’t want to know. It’ll be tough at first, but think of how it’s helping your life.
9. You Depend On Others Too Much.
When you’re in a bind, you know who to call to help you out. While it’s great to have a support system in place for when life throws you a curveball, sometimes you’re creating the curveballs. Maybe you’re in a bind ’cause you haven’t paid rent (you went shopping instead, admit it), or you shirk your responsibilities and cause other people to deal with your crap. The next time you need something, think about what you can do to help yourself. It’s time to put those big girl undies on.
10. You Never Know Where Anything Is.
If you’re untidy and your home’s a mess, you’ll struggle to find items you need and it can cause you lots of stress while taking up so much of your time every day. Maybe your wardrobe’s new home is on your living room floor or your bathroom looks like it exploded. Whatever the case, clutter is making your life a mess. Do this: for 10 minutes, clean something in your home. You’ll be amazed by how much you can do in short bursts of activity without feeling overwhelmed.
11. You’re Always Ready For A Fight.
When you try to return a top you purchased and are told that you can’t return it ’cause you don’t have the slip, do you fight with the salesperson? When your waiter forgets to add fries to your order, do you cause a scene? You might be walking through life looking for a fight everywhere you go. You’re just bringing drama to the table. Try to be less sensitive about what people around you do or say. Remove yourself from highly-charged situations so you can take a breath and center yourself.
12. You Text Your Ex When You’re Lonely.
When your current relationship tanks and you’ve got no one around, you reach for your phone and text your ex to see if he wants to come over. You might even get back together with them when you’re bored or lonely, but it’s just making your dating life chaotic and preventing your from standing on your own. Instead of texting your ex, think about what it is you need from them and what makes you anxious about being on your own. Deal with that instead – unlike your ex, it’ll help you grow.
13. You Can’t Remember When Last You Brushed Your Hair.
If you leave the house looking bedraggled, like you haven’t brushed your hair in ages or removed last night’s eye makeup, you don’t give the impression that you’ve got it together. Chances are your inner world is just as chaotic as your external one. Try to look after yourself a bit so you feel better about yourself and don’t make a bad impression. When you look in the mirror and see someone who’s clean and tidy, you’ll feel more confident.
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