When you’re in a relationship, you want to be dating your equal, not someone who thinks they can tell you what to do all the time. You’re a grown woman and are fully in control of your own life, after all. However, if you notice these signs, you’re dating a controlling guy and need to address this behavior now or get out of the relationship immediately because it’s seriously not healthy.
- He always wants to know where you are and what you’re doing. This is one of the biggest signs that the guy you’re dating is incredibly controlling. You’re an adult who had a life before he came along, so why does he suddenly think it’s right to know the breakdown of every single second of your day? You’re allowed to go places, do things, and talk to people without him knowing the ins and outs of it. If he doesn’t get that, that’s his problem.
- He treats you more like his child than his partner. There is no parent in this relationship, or at least there shouldn’t be. A controlling guy will think it’s his place to talk down to you, tell you what to do, correct your “problematic” behaviors, and generally lord himself over you like someone who knows everything while you know nothing. That’s absolutely ridiculous and one of the biggest signs of a serious imbalance.
- You can never text or talk to anyone without him knowing who it is. Not only does he expect to know where you are and what you’re doing all the time, but a controlling guy isn’t happy unless he signs off on exactly who you’re talking to and who you socialize with. He’s not above criticizing pretty much all of your friends and “forbidding” you from seeing certain ones of them because he doesn’t approve. Um, what?!
- You’re starting to feel isolated from your friends and family. The victim of a controlling guy will often find themselves pulled away from other people in their lives who might point out what’s happening and try to get them out of the situation. If you find that he makes excuses or finds reason for why you can’t or shouldn’t be around the people you’re closest to, there’s a serious problem.
- It’s always his way or the highway. A controlling guy gives himself away because he’s, well, controlling. He wants to call all the shots and dictate the details of every situation and if for some reason he can’t, he loses his cool. The word “compromise” isn’t part of his vocabulary and if you were ever to speak out against his plans, you’d never hear the end of it.
- You hide innocent things from him because you’re afraid of how he’d react. This is one of the saddest and most troubling signs you’re dating a controlling guy and that you’re in an abusive relationship. If you feel like you can’t tell him about dumb things – like, for instance, an old high school classmate reaching out to you – because you worry about how he’d react, that should tell you all you need to know.
- He gets mad when you have fun without him. If he can’t handle the fact that you find happiness and have fun outside of your relationship, he obviously doesn’t care about you, regardless of what he says to the contrary. You’re dating a controlling guy who will never allow you to be your wonderfully vibrant self and it’s time to get out while you still can.
While it’s possible to work things out with a controlling guy if he’s legitimately unaware of his behavior and willing to change once it’s pointed out, it doesn’t bode well that he felt his behavior was appropriate in the first place. It would take serious couples and individual therapy in order to work through such a major problem, and only you know whether that’s worth it for yourself.