Signs You’re Losing Interest In Your Relationship And Need To End It

Sometimes falling out of love happens slowly. You become so used to your life that you don’t realize you’ve grown comfortable with being unhappy. While this can sometimes be repaired with love, attention, and effort from both sides, it’s often the end of things and you need to go. Here are a few signs that it’s time to move on because you’re losing interest in your relationship.

  1. You’re spending more time with your friends. You love your friends regardless of who your romantic partner is, but spending a lot more time with them than you used to may be an early sign that you prefer being with them to being with your partner. And if you’re using your friends as an excuse to bail on plans with your partner, you’re definitely losing interest. The sooner you realize this, the easier it will be for both of you.
  2. You prefer watching tv together to talking. Defaulting to watching a show or a movie when you’re together is an indication that you don’t have much to talk about. Think about when you last had a deep conversation that felt engaging and satisfying. If it’s too long ago to remember, things have clearly changed for the two of you, and you’re not as close as you used to be.
  3. You fantasize about other people. Whether or not you have a real-life person to fantasize over or an imaginary person who you’ve conjured for yourself, having romantic thoughts about other people could be a sign that you are no longer physically attracted to your partner the way you used to be. If these thoughts are accompanied by a decline in sexual feelings for your partner, you have started to move on from them, even if it wasn’t a conscious decision.
  4. You feel more like friends than partners. Perhaps the biggest indication that you’re losing interest in your relationship is the feeling that your partner is more of a friend than a love interest. This will often happen slowly, and you may even think that it’s the natural progression of a happy relationship. Your partner should be a friend, but they should be more than that, too. Unfortunately, once you start to see them as “just a friend,” it’s very hard to rescue the relationship.
  5. You’re jealous of other couples. When you’re losing interest in your relationship, it’s hard not to look longingly at other couples and imagine what their lives must be like together. You imagine what it would feel like to be excited about your relationship, or so happy with your partner that you can’t wait to get home from work every day. If you find yourself imagining these “What ifs,” you are clearly feeling detached from your relationship.
  6. Your emotions about your partner are flat. You might think that the biggest indication of relationship trouble is arguing, but arguing, though unpleasant, is at least a sign that you’re emotionally invested. A far worse sign is when you feel indifferent. All the little quirks about your partner that used to bug you are now just background noise. If they try to start an argument, you don’t feel upset. Even things about them that frustrate you are only mildly annoying. Once this happens, it is difficult to turn back.
  7. You crave alone time. Everyone needs alone time, no matter how infatuated they are with their partners. But if you find yourself craving it like a woman lost in the desert for a week craves shade, you’re probably looking for an escape rather than routine solitude. Feeling like you need to escape is a clear sign that you don’t feel relaxed around your partner. On some level, you just don’t feel like yourself around them anymore.
  8. You don’t share things you care about with them. You’re not intentionally withholding information, you just don’t feel excited about sharing exciting things with them anymore. Instead, you call a friend or a sibling to debrief about what you’ve been thinking about. It’s great to have lots of people you’re close with, but you should have a partner who you can share your highs and lows with. If they’re at the bottom of your list of confidantes, how can you still be invested in the relationship?
  9. PDA is a thing of the past. When you just started dating, you couldn’t get enough of each other. You held hands and kissed in public, sat on the same side of the table when you went to restaurants, and always went grocery shopping together. But now, the idea of being so physically close is foreign to you. In fact, you rarely go places together at all anymore. It just seems inefficient. While a decline in physical affection is normal as a relationship progresses, complete abandonment of it is another indication that your heart isn’t with your partner anymore.
  10. You feel lonely. Perhaps the most obvious indication that you’re falling out of love with your relationship is feeling lonely. You should never feel lonely when you have a partner. Even when you’re in a long-distance relationship, loneliness is not a healthy or inevitable emotion. If you’re lonely, it’s because one or both of you has emotionally withdrawn from your partnership.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.
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