8 Signs You’re More Guarded In Love Than You Think

8 Signs You’re More Guarded In Love Than You Think

It’s way too easy to get hurt in love, so it makes sense to be guarded. After all, you have to protect your own heart, and there’s nothing wrong with self-preservation. However, there’s a chance you could be a bit too cautious in your relationships and you don’t even realize it. Opening up to people takes time, and any guy that’s worth yours should be willing to work to gain your trust. However, if you relate to any of these things, chances are you might need to loosen up and let yourself go just a little more.

  1. Intimacy makes you laugh. It’s not actually funny, you’re just incredibly uncomfortable. You can’t even stop yourself when you see you’re hurting his feelings. Sure, you can’t help what your initial reaction is, but maybe you can accept that only a super guarded person would react that way. If you recognize this in yourself, try discussing your feelings (and your immature reaction) with your guy — he’ll probably be understanding.
  2. You always try to keep things casual. Keeping it casual is a must, and you like to avoid serious talk and any activities that might make the relationship seem more serious. You don’t want to talk about feelings or the future, even if you really like him, just in case things go sour (which they usually do).
  3. You view commitment as an ultimatum. A guy wanting a commitment from you feels like a bad thing, even if he’s wonderful. It seems more like an ultimatum than a happy milestone. You don’t understand why people feel the need to “ruin a good thing” by moving forward with it.
  4. Feelings make you uncomfortable. Having them, talking about them, seeing other people have them on TV, etc. etc. Your general reaction is more “UGH, WHY?!” than anything warm and fuzzy, and you try to avoid them as much as possible.
  5. You prefer subtle displays of emotions. PDA and grand romantic gestures are totally not your thing. Even hugs in public are pushing it a bit. You prefer subtler acts, like picking you up a latte or getting your oil changed for you.
  6. People tell you you’re mysterious or hard to get to know. And this always confuses you. You’re an open book! Why do people keep saying this to you? It’s because you pick and choose what topics you’re open about, and anyone that’s paying attention can tell.
  7. You think people who jump into relationships are foolish. Granted, some of them are, but some people just know love when they see it and can’t wait to jump in head-first. If you’re hating on every new couple, you’re probably so pro being guarded that it makes you uncomfortable even when other people are rushing into things.
  8. Relationship progress feels suffocating. Everything can be fine until the relationship gets slightly more serious, then you feel like you’re dying. Your body physically reacts to the idea of getting closer to someone. Leaving his toothbrush at your place is like leaving a bunch of carbon monoxide there, because you’re friggin’ suffocating.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.