10 Signs You’re Not Ready For Forever Love

You might fantasize about meeting and dating your forever person, but maybe it’s not the right time for you. Here are 10 signs that you’re not ready to go the distance in love just yet.

  1. You don’t know what you want. Maybe you’ve changed your priorities or you’re still trying to figure out what you want out of life, and that’s OK. You know that bringing a serious partner into your life when you don’t even know who you are isn’t a good idea. LTRs are officially put on hold until further notice!
  2. You’re just out of something. You had a great love that then became a great nightmare. Or you had a fling that ended up with a serious case of the feels and now you’re a bit smashed about it ending. Whatever the case, you’re still broken and wounded so you don’t want to even think about finding love. Even if you’re worried you’re getting older, remember that love doesn’t have a deadline. Also, screw the haters. You’re doing you and that’s vital.
  3. You’re loving your freedom. You’re unapologetically loving your life just the way it is right now. You don’t have the slightest desire to get with someone and have a serious relationship. Hey, why should you mess with something that’s so amazing?
  4. You’re a runaway girlfriend. You run away from commitment and love the second you catch a whiff of it. There could be various reasons for this, but you need to take the time to figure out what’s going on without dragging other people into your drama or expecting them to carry your emotional baggage around. It’s not their job.
  5. You’re chasing down life goal deadlines, not husband deadlines. For some, getting married is an achievement and that’s fine. But you know that your self-worth doesn’t depend on getting a forever partner. You’re busy with other things that give your life a purpose, like chasing down your goals and making your dreams a reality. You don’t want love to get in the way of all that fabulousness. If you’re juggling a relationship with other things in your life, something has to be given less attention. You don’t want that to happen.
  6. You’re all about appearances. When you meet someone new, the first thing you notice about them is their good looks, the car they drive, or the clothing brands they wear. While you might want a partner who looks good and can pay their own way, caring too much about appearances can make you choose the wrong person. This isn’t the same as a forever person with qualities that will stand the test of time. If you’re not keen on having a partner who has those deeper, more important qualities then you’re not ready for a forever person. Period.
  7. You’re still talking about your ex all the time. It’s fine to talk about your ex once in a while, like when sharing “toxic people” stories with your best friends over drinks at the club. But if he’s often the first person on your mind and you find yourself talking about him to complete strangers or within five minutes of conversation with the cute guy who’s approached you at the bar, you’re probably not over your ex. And if you are, then maybe you’re not over the breakup you had with him. Either way, you’d do well to steer clear of new love until you work through your feelings.
  8. You’re stressed about dating. It’s overwhelming to have to try to navigate the dating minefield while trying to find someone worthy of your time. However, if dating stresses you to the point where you’re having anxiety and dating burnout, then it’s probably your body’s way of saying you need to take a bit of a timeout for yourself. Forget the dudes and chill out.
  9. You’re not happy with your life. If you’re hoping that meeting your forever person will make you happy, think again. If you can’t make yourself happy and if you don’t feel that your life is complete right now, then you’ll only be disappointed when your forever person can’t bliss you out all the time. No one is responsible for your happiness except for you! Now’s the time to focus on your life and find your happiness. A satisfying relationship is just a bonus.
  10. You’re expecting the worst. The second you meet someone new, you’re sizing them up and waiting for them to prove that they’re toxic just like all the other losers you’ve known. If you’re not just picky but ready to pick at potential partners before they show you who they are, you might be a bit of a dating wrecking ball. Realize that not everyone’s going to break your heart and leave you scarred. Until you’ve reached that point, take some solo time and find your inner zen. You owe it to yourself.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.