13 Signs You’re Not Ready For A Relationship

You’re 100% focused on finding someone to love, but have you ever considered you might not actually be ready for it? Here are some subtle signs you should probably hold off on making a commitment.

  1. You still play games. It’s not your fault—you love the chase. You enjoy waiting hours to respond to texts and going out of your way to play hard to get. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little drama, but it does mean you’re not ready for a relationship right now and will need to do a bit of maturing before you are.
  2. You don’t trust anyone. Not even yourself. You don’t believe in your ability to make important decisions and you’re always anxious and unsure. If you can’t trust yourself, how are you going to trust another person? Oh, wait—you can’t.
  3. You’ve had the same guy checklist for as long as you can remember. You’ve been working from the same checklist for years now and it hasn’t gotten you anywhere. Sure, you’ve dated your fair share of good looking, smart, witty, and determined men, but the relationships blew up. And yet, you’re not willing to throw away the list. Sounds like you enjoy having things blow up in your face.
  4. You always try to change your partner. You’re known to force your beliefs onto your partners. That might have worked in past relationships but that doesn’t mean it’s smart. If you’re always trying to change someone, that means you’re dating the wrong people. That, or you’re trying to date a version of yourself.
  5. You’re quick to invest. Generally speaking, it takes you no time at all to become obsessed with someone. You might think that’s proof you’re a romantic, but it’s actually proof you fall in love with the idea of someone and not who they really are. If you don’t know how to fall in love (like, really fall in love), then you’re not ready for a relationship.
  6. You’re fundamentally unhappy. A relationship isn’t going to make you happy. In the beginning, it’ll distract you but sooner than later your problem will come to light and wreak havoc on your relationship. If you look for someone else to make you happy, it’ll only make you worse.
  7. You feel the itch to explore. Whether you’re looking to date a ton of people or you want to travel the world, chances are, you’re not ready to settle down right now. Don’t pretend like you are. Listen to your gut. If you feel the itch to go everywhere and try everything, you should do it. There’s no time limit on love, so don’t force it before you’re ready.
  8. You still have unresolved feelings for your ex. You still have feelings for your ex, but that’s not the problem. The problem is you can’t stop analyzing your past relationship. To be with someone new, you have to let go of someone old. If you’re still hung up on what’s been and gone, you need to work through that.
  9. You’re always looking for the next best thing. You’re not afraid of commitment, you just don’t want to commit. In your mind, there’s always something better around the corner, and you don’t want to miss out on the best. How can you be in a relationship when you’re always looking for something new?
  10. Your friends are still number one. Your friends should be important, of course, but they shouldn’t be the only relationship you want to nourish. I’m not saying you should ditch your friends completely, but you should be willing to put your partner first sometimes. If you can’t do that, you can’t handle a relationship.
  11. You’re lonely, bored, and tired. You want a relationship more than anything else in the world, which is why you’re on every dating app. You’re desperate and likely to settle for anyone. That’s why you should avoid dating at all costs, at least for a little while.
  12. You’re selfish. We all go through a selfish phase—it’s a necessary part of growing up. Are you still in that phase? If so, it’s going to be difficult (if not impossible) to sustain a healthy relationship. You can’t be self-centered when you’re dealing with another person.
  13. You’re not trying to change. Did your ex-boyfriend leave you broken? Did you lose your job? Are you struggling with anxiety? We all have things that make it difficult for us to be in committed relationships. What matters is you acknowledge your problems and try to work on them. If you’re pretending like you’re perfect, you’re not ready to be in a relationship.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.