While being in touch and sharing your feelings is usually a good thing and can be the key to a strong relationship, there is such a thing as overkill. Here’s how too much talking can actually ruin your relationship:
- You don’t give yourself a chance to build up the excitement. Throughout the day, you collect stories that you want to share with your partner. If you hold onto them until you see him, you’ll be so eager to share with him and connect. It’s such a nicer feeling than texting hourly updates, which just don’t share the same level of intimacy.
- There are some things that are better left unsaid. He really doesn’t need to know about how your new deodorant left white stains all over your new shirt, or about how that meal you ate last night gave you terrible constipation all day. Talking about every single thing may seem like a way to demonstrate how connected and open with each other you are at first, but it can get old quickly.
- Alone time is important. Being comfortable alone helps you get in touch with yourself and figure out who you are. If you always need to be talking your partner, you miss out on the chance to think things through yourself and enjoy time alone.
- Too much talking eventually devolves into gossip. And that’s not good for either of you.
- You start to miss out on nonverbal cues. It’s hard to always pay attention when you’re always “on.” You’re better off talking less but setting all other distractions aside, so you’ll be able to pick up on his body language and give him eye contact.
- A good relationship is based more on what you do than what you say. Sometimes the best couples aren’t the ones who communicate the most, but the ones who are active together. Instead of sitting on the couch talking, go for a run together or play a game. Sharing experiences together will often bring you closer together than just talking.
- You start to become obsessed with being in touch. If he doesn’t answer his phone or text back immediately, you start wondering what’s wrong and second-guessing yourself. That overanalyzing is a bad communication habit you need to ditch ASAP.
- The really important things you have to say get lost in the weeds. If you’re not constantly communicating, it’s more likely that you’ll both be able to give the proper time, attention, and respect to each other to really connect when you do.
- Maintaining an element of mystery is important, especially in the beginning. Sometimes you just don’t want to always be available, and you don’t want him to be, either. It makes the times you see him special, and lets you build up the anticipation and miss him while he’s gone.
- When you talk too much, you miss out on the beauty that you can find in silence. Sitting together in comfortable silence really can be the most bonding experience that there is. Couples who can appreciate that are happier together.
