13 Signs You’re Over Him Even If You Think You’re Not

You might flinch at the thought of bumping into your ex at the mall, but maybe you’re reacting out of habit instead of feeling. If you’re experiencing these 13 things, then congratulations—you’re really over your ex. 

  1. You don’t ask mutual friends about them. Before, when you’d bump into a friend you share with your ex, you’d be itching to find out how your ex was doing and if they’d met someone new. Now your ex doesn’t feature in the conversation even in passing. You can also enjoy interactions with your mutual friends much more because you have so much more in common than just knowing your ex.
  2. You don’t have palpitations before checking your newsfeed. When you log into Twitter or Facebook, you don’t feel like you’re having an anxiety attack at the thought of what your ex may have posted overnight and if those messages are veiled attacks against you. 
  3. You have serious crushes on other people. If you find yourself getting the feels for other people, that’s a really good sign that your heart is opening up to the idea of love again.
  4. You don’t rehash the breakup. You used to think about the breakup all the time and maybe even analyze it to death. Now you’ve stopped doing that, which is a sign that you’re not allowing the past to have a place of priority in your mind anymore.  
  5. You can go for days without thinking about them. It’s not just your breakup that you don’t think about anymore. You can usually go days without a single thought of your ex coming to mind. That’s a really good sign! Out of mind, out of life… 
  6. You don’t get reminded of them. You know how some things are just taboo when you’re going through a breakup? Maybe you don’t listen to Adele’s music because every song reminds you of your ex. Or maybe you don’t watch any Robert Downey Jr. movies because your ex kind of resembled him. These days, if things that were on your taboo list happen to be in front of you, it’s no big deal. You can listen to those songs and watch those movies without the stress. Nice one.
  7. You can talk about them without crying. When you and your friend talk about your exes, you don’t feel like you’re going to bust out in tears over them. You can have the conversation and then move on to better topics without the need to get dramatic about what he was like or how much you miss him. 
  8. Your future feels good again. This is another biggie to watch out for. If you can get excited about the future again, then you know you’re making real progress. Your ex is getting smaller and the life you have in front of you is getting bigger, which is how it should be. 
  9. You don’t think of them first when your phone beeps. When your thoughts were swamped with them, you’d think it was your ex texting you whenever your phone beeped. But lately, he doesn’t really cross your mind and you don’t feel deflated when it’s not him. 
  10. You don’t think you see him everywhere. While you might feel a little nervous at the thought of bumping into him in real life, you know you’ve moved on from your ex because you don’t think you see him everywhere you go. You certainly don’t expect to see him or hang out at your old hotspots to run into him “accidentally.” 
  11. You’ve taken up some old hobbies. Maybe your ex hated adventure sports or shopping, so you stopped doing those things. Now that he’s out of your life, you can get back into them. Similarly, maybe you lost yourself a little when you were dating your ex, but now that you’re getting your life back you’re starting to rekindle an interest in the things that used to bring joy to your life. That’s a healthy sign that you’re going back to living your life in the way that makes you happiest.
  12. You still believe in true love. You might feel a little jaded about relationships and dating because of what happened with your ex, but that doesn’t mean you’ve given up on the idea of finding love. You still believe love exists and you know in your heart that you don’t need your ex for that love to happen to you. In addition, you don’t bash all men or become defensive because you’re still wounded. You’re so over that. 
  13. You’re not angry at them anymore. You used to be caught up in your anger over what your ex did to you, but now you’re not feeling such strong emotions anymore. You know what they say: the opposite of love isn’t hate but indifference. If your hurt/angry feelings have cooled, then you know you’re really getting over what happened to you. Heck, you might even be in a position to forgive the guy.
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.