Signs You’re Secretly Intimidated By Someone

Signs You’re Secretly Intimidated By Someone

We’ve all met one of those people who just seem to have it together. They command the room, crack the funniest jokes, and look effortlessly put together. Even if we think we’re cool and confident, sometimes there’s this nagging feeling, a little bit of intimidation we try to ignore. Here are some tell-tale signs that this is what you’re experiencing.

1. You Get Overly Polite Around Them.

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Suddenly, you’re on your absolute best behavior around them. Every “please” and “thank you” sounds super formal, and you keep wondering if that was a weird thing to say. That extra niceness? Might be a cover for feeling slightly nervous. It’s as if you’re hoping that if you follow every social rule to the letter, they won’t notice how out of your depth you feel.

2. You Either Talk WAY Too Much or Freeze Up.

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There’s no in-between. Either you nervously fill the silence with rambling chatter, or your usual wit completely deserts you. When they ask a question, you go totally blank, like your brain forgot how to work. You start second-guessing the things you do say, wondering if they sound just as ridiculous in their ears as they do in yours.

3. Your Inner Critic Goes Wild.

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Your normal confidence fades in their presence. Everything about yourself feels inadequate – your outfit, your stupid joke, your very existence. Internally, you’re picking yourself apart while wishing you were more like them. There’s an underlying worry that this person secretly sees all your flaws way more clearly than you do.

4. You Become Super Awkward.

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Tripping over your words? Check. Knocking your drink over? Probably. The things you’d normally do without thinking turn into major sources of embarrassment. It’s like your body forgets how to behave like a normal human. They probably didn’t even notice your clumsy missteps, but to you, it feels like you just screamed “I’M A NERVOUS WRECK!” to the entire room.

5. You Get the Giggles.

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Not even at something actually funny. Just those nervous giggles that pop out at the worst times. You try to stifle them, but they betray you every time. It’s like you’ve turned into a middle-schooler at their first crush’s locker. Now you’re not just awkward, you’re immature – perfect.

6. You Avoid Eye Contact.

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Meeting their gaze feels too intense! You glance down, fiddle with something, or find an imaginary spot on the wall – anything but make direct eye contact. There’s just something about those confident eyes that make you feel a little too exposed. Almost like they can see right through your attempts to play it cool.

7. You Pretend Everything They Do Is Amazing.

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Even if their idea is kinda mediocre, you find yourself enthusiastically agreeing. Normally, you have opinions, but something about them makes you just want to go along and not disagree. Even if a little voice inside is calling you a sell-out. Maybe if you agree with everything, they won’t notice you’re not as amazing as they are.

8. You Go Quiet in Groups.

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When they’re in the conversation, you find yourself hanging back and just listening. Even when you have something to say, you second-guess yourself. Like your opinion doesn’t really matter compared to theirs. They’re probably going to say something smarter and funnier anyway, so why bother?

9. You Overthink EVERYTHING Later.

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That random comment you made hours ago is gnawing at you. Did it sound dumb? Did they notice the spinach in your teeth? All your insecurities bubble to the surface as you replay the entire encounter in your head. And even if nothing cringe-worthy happened, you start imagining all the ways you COULD have embarrassed yourself.

10. You Compare Yourself Negatively.

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Their perfect hair, their trendy job, their witty observations – it makes you acutely aware of your own shortcomings. The comparison game is in full effect, and you always lose. The worst part is, you know comparing yourself like this is pointless, but that doesn’t stop you from spiraling downward.

11. You Downplay Your Own Accomplishments Around Them.

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You landed a promotion? Cool, no big deal. You aced that presentation? Well, anyone could have done that. You have this urge to minimize your successes when they’re around, as if to make yourself seem less threatening. Ironically, pretending you’re not impressive just makes you feel less impressive.

12. You Try WAY Too Hard to Impress Them.

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You volunteer for the project they’re leading, offer overly enthusiastic praise, and dress to the nines when you know they’ll be around. Secretly, you want their validation, a sign that you measure up. But all that forced effort usually backfires, making you feel more like a try-hard than the cool, competent person you want to be.

13. You Feel Drained After Hanging Out With Them.

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Spending time with them leaves you exhausted in a way regular socializing doesn’t. You were so busy monitoring your behavior and suppressing your real personality that it takes real effort to relax afterward. Maybe you even need a good venting session with a friend who doesn’t intimidate you.

14. You’re Secretly Hoping They’ll Like the REAL You.

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Deep down, you wish the awkwardness would melt away and you could connect genuinely. There’s this hope that maybe they’d actually like you if you weren’t trying so hard. But that fear of showing your true self and falling short? It keeps getting in the way.

15. You Feel Competitive Even When It Makes No Sense.

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This person becomes your unspoken rival. Did they get a better project? More likes on their Instagram post? It sparks this irrational feeling of jealousy and competitiveness. Logically, you know that their success doesn’t diminish yours, but it can be hard to shake that nagging instinct to compare.

16. You Fantasize About “Proving Them Wrong.”

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Deep down, you imagine a future moment where you triumph. Maybe you finally say that witty thing in front of them or land an even cooler accomplishment than theirs. These fantasies are your way of taking back some power, showing them (and yourself) that you’re just as impressive as they are, even if you struggle to believe it in real life.

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Josh grew up in Connecticut and thought he could never be happier away from big bodies of water until he moved to Minneapolis and fell in love with it. He writes full-time, with his lifestyle content being published in the likes of Men's Health, Business Insider, and many more. When he's not writing, he likes running (but not enough to train for a marathon even though his buddy won't stop asking him).