Signs You’re Surrounded by People Who Are Bringing You Down

Signs You’re Surrounded by People Who Are Bringing You Down

Life’s too short to spend it surrounded by people who sap your energy and dim your light. Unfortunately, the negativity can sometimes be subtle since it’s disguised by good intentions or familiarity. Do you constantly feel drained, frustrated, or held back? It might be time to question if the people around you are truly lifting you up or unknowingly bringing you down. Here are some sad signs it’s the latter.

1. There’s negativity everywhere you look. 

Negativity is contagious. When you’re surrounded by people who constantly whine and criticize, it starts to rub off on you. Suddenly, it’s hard to find joy in anything. It leaves you feeling drained, pessimistic, and completely over those negative vibes.

2. You don’t feel like you have any support. 

Young unhappy woman sitting on bed at home, waking up depressed, suffering from depression, feeling sad and miserable. Female suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Women and mental health

In good relationships, you know your people are there for you no matter what. They cheer you on, they pick you up when you fall… they’re your safety net. But when you don’t feel that support, it’s scary. You second-guess yourself, feel alone, and wonder if you can really trust those around you.

3. Jealousy and resentment are par for the course.

woman covering her face with hands yellow sweater

Jealousy and resentment suck the joy out of everything. When these emotions take hold, there’s no room for celebrating each other or enjoying one another’s company. The constant negativity and underhanded competition create a miserable atmosphere that poisons friendships and relationships.

4. There’s a lot of manipulative behavior. 

Manipulators poison relationships. They play mind games, twist your words, and make you doubt your own instincts. Living in this kind of environment is incredibly draining. It breaks down trust and makes you feel like you’re always under scrutiny, never knowing who’s being genuine.

5. The energy is incredibly draining. 

Certain people have a real talent for making you feel completely drained. They always complain, focus only on themselves, and leave you feeling emotionally wrung out. Every interaction with them is an uphill battle, and it’s hard to enjoy their company.

6. There’s a lot of criticism, but none of it is constructive. 

Constructive criticism is great for personal growth because it helps you thrive and bloom. But when criticism is constant and devoid of any helpful feedback, it’s like being constantly attacked instead. It does a number on your self-esteem and doesn’t actually help you in any way. Instead of feeling motivated to improve, you’re left feeling beaten down and demoralized.

7. There’s too much gossip and drama around you. 

Two women, sitting outdoors in pub, two girlfriends using smart phone together.

Gossip and drama can seem entertaining for a while, but ultimately, they’re just a waste of time and energy. When these things take over your social circle, it’s like being trapped in a never-ending episode of “Days of Our Lives.” Instead of building each other up, there’s backstabbing and betrayal, which can tear even the closest of friendships apart.

8. You don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere with them. 

In a healthy environment, you’re encouraged to grow and evolve as a person. But when there’s stagnation in your social circle, it’s like being stuck in quicksand — the harder you try to move forward, the more you get pulled back. Instead of feeling inspired to chase your dreams, you’re left feeling like you’re stuck in a rut.

9. You feel like no one appreciates you. 

Ever feel like you’re shouting into the void, but no one’s listening? That’s what it’s like when you’re not feeling appreciated in your relationships. Despite your best efforts, it seems like no one notices or cares about what you bring to the table. You end up feeling completely taken for granted, and that sucks.

10. No one is being their authentic self — not even you. 

Authenticity is like the secret sauce of genuine connections and without it, things just feel off. When the people you hang around with on a daily basis aren’t being real, you learn to see everyone with their mask off and you never get a view of what’s lurking underneath. Instead of being able to let your guard down and be yourself, you’re forced to put on a facade and play a role.

11. There’s a serious lack of boundaries. 

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and clear boundaries, but when boundaries are lacking, it’s like the Wild West out there. You find yourself constantly overstepping each other’s limitations, leading to tension and conflict. You end up living in a constant state of chaos, never knowing where the line is until it’s crossed.

12. There’s a pattern of betrayal. 

Betrayal is like a punch to the gut, and it knocks the wind right out of you. When there’s a pattern of people screwing each other over left and right in your social circle, it’s like you’re constantly on edge, waiting for the next shoe to drop. Instead of feeling safe and secure, you’re left wondering who you can trust.

13. No one takes responsibility for their actions. 

he man speaks while the woman remains silent, highlighting a breakdown in communication

Accountability is like the glue that holds relationships together — without it, things quickly fall apart. But when no one takes responsibility for their actions, it’s like everyone’s playing the blame game. Instead of owning up to their mistakes and working towards a solution, people point fingers and deflect responsibility.

14. You feel like you’re in a constant competition.

Healthy competition can be fun and motivating, but when it turns into a cutthroat battle, it’s like being thrown into the Hunger Games. Instead of cheering each other on, it’s every man for himself. You don’t want to live in a constant state of comparison where your worth is measured by your achievements. There’s more to life than that!

15. There’s a lot of emotional upset. 

Emotional turmoil throws your whole world off balance. You never know what to expect, and it leaves you feeling unsettled and on edge. When there’s constant drama and conflict around you, it’s like your sense of security and stability has been completely shattered.

16. Authentic connections feel hard to come by. 

sad man with head in hands

Authentic connection is like a warm hug on a cold day — it makes everything better. But when there’s a lack of genuine connection in your social circle, it’s like being surrounded by strangers. Instead of feeling understood and valued, you’re left feeling lonely and disconnected.

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Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.
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