Being Single Is a Circumstance — Being Lonely Is A Choice

Being Single Is a Circumstance — Being Lonely Is A Choice ©iStock/Martinan

Whether you’ve never had a boyfriend or just broke up with your ex, being single can seriously suck sometimes. It’s generally a temporary circumstance, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a miserable one. You might think that being single AF goes hand in hand with being lonely, but it doesn’t have to be that way — the choice is yours.

  1. You have to be comfortable being alone before you can be with someone else. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, how can you ever be yourself with someone else? You need to find comfort in solitude, and strength in independence. In fact, it might be the best thing you can do to find everlasting companionship.
  2. You have so many friends. Just because you don’t have a romantic relationship doesn’t mean you don’t have any worthwhile relationships in your life. If you’re feeling overwhelmingly alone, call your girls. That’s what they’re there for — to get you through anything and everything. It might sound a little cheesy, but if you have true friends, then you’re never really alone.
  3. Sitting at home moping about being single isn’t helping you find love. If you want your relationship status to change, you can’t hide out in your house. The single life might bum you out, but sitting on your ass isn’t going to change your circumstances. If you want a relationship, then go out and find one.
  4. To have a friend, you have to be a friend. You don’t want to be alone, but you’re not willing to put in the effort of companionship? The best relationships in life have a foundation of friendship, so if you don’t care about being a friend how are you ever going to have a real relationship? Whether you’re depressingly single or living your happily ever after, you always have to make time for the friends who’ve always been there.
  5. Loneliness is a state of mind. So change your attitude. If you’re sick of being lonely, then do something to change that. You have other options. Choose to be happy. Choose to find companionship. Choose a better life than a life alone. To get out of your rut, you have to want out of it, so if you want to stop feeling lonely, then stop spending so much time focusing on that fact that you’re alone.
  6. No relationship will fix your problems. If you’re not happy, no guy can change that. You have to fix yourself and find happiness on your own before you can even think about being with someone else. Face your problems head on and once you learn to deal with your issues on your own, then you’ll know you don’t need a boyfriend, you just want one.
  7. If you don’t want to be alone, then literally don’t be. Go out, invite someone over, join a club — just do something not by yourself. There are millions of people in the world, so go out and be among them. You never know who you might meet out there.
  8. Being single isn’t forever. You might be single in the relationship department, but you’re not alone in life. So stop thinking those two things are one in the same. You have people in your life that you care about, so just because you’re alone in the romantic sense, doesn’t mean you’re alone in the world.
  9. If you do the single life right, you’re anything but alone. You’re free to do whatever you want whenever you want with whomever you want. You’re not locked down to one person, so now’s the time to bring out your social butterfly. Go out and flirt your way through the numbers one by one. Who knows, while you’re out not dwelling on your single status and just having fun, you may just accidentally bump into the one.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.