I’ve Been Single For Five Years & Am Finally OK With Staying That Way

I think I’m throwing in the relationship towel. I used to get stressed about finding love since all my friends are regulars on the dating scene. However, at this point, I’ve been single so long, I might as well keep going with it.

  1. I’m gonna be one of those cool, single 40-year-olds. I look at older women who are single and think, wow, that must be an awesome life. My generation isn’t pressured to get married and raise a family the way my mom’s was, so I’m gonna take that freedom and run with it. I just can’t wait to be an older single lady, living my life the way I want.
  2. Maybe I’m just one of those people who don’t need a partner. Society likes to tell us that we need to be coupled up with someone in order to live our best lives, but there are tons of people out there who don’t really feel the need to be in a relationship and I think I’m one of them. It’s not out of fear, it’s just lack of desire to be part of a partnership. Is that so wrong?
  3. I’m actually quite happy being on my own. I grew up in a big family, so I’m actually totally happy spending time on my own. I can spend days and days never seeing another soul and feel more or less OK. I don’t sink into those feelings of loneliness that a lot of people seem to have.
  4. I like living by myself. I can’t even imagine living with a partner. The idea that all their stuff will be mixed up with mine or that I’ll have to completely overhaul my life in order to fit them in makes me want to pull my hair out. I like being free to live the way I want to live. I would never change that, not even for someone I love.
  5. There isn’t really room for anyone else in my life. To be honest, I already have a lot going on. I have a job in the arts that keeps me busy pretty much 24 hours a day. I volunteer twice a week and take classes. I don’t even think I’d have time to be with my would-be partner.
  6. I don’t like sharing. As I mentioned before, I grew up in a big family, so I don’t like to share. I like knowing when my milk is going to run out (because I’m the only one drinking it). I like the feeling of solely being responsible for myself and not having to worry about what someone else is doing.
  7. It’s never been more acceptable to be single. I might as well embrace my chronic singledom. It’s never been more common to be single, especially in this post-#MeToo world. I believe that it’s the job of my generation to end gender inequality once and for all and to pave our own way. I’m happy to be part of it.
  8. I can totally imagine marrying myself. I’ve heard about people getting married to themselves and thought, wow, that is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of. Who says that you can’t throw a wedding for yourself? It’s like you’re announcing to the world that you’ll commit to love yourself forever, no matter what. I think it’s kinda sweet.
  9. Everyone already knows me as always being single. I feel like I’m reaching a point where being single has woven itself into my identity—permanently. I always show up alone to events and family functions. I’ve never even brought a guy home to meet my parents before. I’ve been in a couple relationships but never introduced them to my family and maybe it’s because I want everyone to know that I’m the single girl.
  10. My career is more important than love. When I was in high school, I noticed that all of my friends started to talk about guys and dating and I just couldn’t seem to get excited about it the same way they were. I wanted to talk about the clubs going on at school or where we were going to apply for college. Chasing a boy was trivial to me.
  11. Clearly I’m destined to be alone. I know deep down that I’m meant to be alone. I’ve felt it from a young age and my disinterest in dating through the years just drills it in further. I guess some of us are just supposed to go solo.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.