Being Single Isn’t Something You Need To “Fix”

You’re single with no relationship prospects in sight, but why is that a problem? No, really. If you’re feeling down about rolling solo long-term, here are some things to remember.

  1. Single isn’t a health condition. There are serious health conditions out there people have to deal with every day. Being single isn’t one of them, so don’t treat it like it’s a matter of life or death. Your relationship status or lack thereof is just something that’s happening, not something that needs curing.
  2. It’s not a reflection of your worthiness. You might think you’re badass… except for not having a relationship. Who said being single was a flaw? It actually doesn’t reflect on you or your personality, and it certainly doesn’t take away all of the amazing qualities you have all on your own.
  3. It’s a choice more than anything else. If you wanted to, you could go out there and find a guy to date but you aren’t doing that, perhaps because you have standards and won’t just date any old guy. Good for you. Maybe deep down, you actually like being single. Why shouldn’t you? It’s fabulous.
  4. Single time is there for a reason. Maybe you’ve really tried your hardest to find a romantic partner but it’s just not happening for you. You’re chasing this goal with all your heart, but maybe you need to stop and realize that it’s OK not to have it right now. Maybe you’re single because you have bigger, better things to do than waiting around for a man.
  5. You’re more than your relationship status. You weren’t put on this earth to only be someone’s girlfriend or wife! You have bigger things to accomplish, and if you don’t, then you need to use this time to seriously reevaluate your priorities.
  6. You shouldn’t feel like you’re less than. It’s not easy being single and surrounded by loads of women who are in relationships. After a while, it can make you feel like you’re less amazing or worthy than they are. But just think: you’re rating them as worthier based on the fact that they have boyfriends. That’s it. Can you see how crazy that sounds? It’s even crazier if you think about how many people settle for mediocre relationships. They’re definitely not setting a standard worth wanting.
  7. You can thank the media for this crap. According to an article in Psychology Today, thanks to shows like SATC, we’ve been bombarded with women who seem to have it all except for an amazing relationship. And, it seems like that lack of a relationship throws everything else on its head, which is crazy. These messages are basically telling us that even if we have an amazing social life, great career, and we’re happy, there’s something wrong if we don’t have the perfect man to share it with. That’s BS because you can and should be 100% happy without a man.
  8. Do you really even want it? It’s so easy to be brainwashed by ideas that we have to have a relationship. You might’ve been sent these messages from when you were a kid. In fact, you might not even realize that you don’t even want a man. It’s almost like we’re afraid to say that we don’t in case we set ourselves up for further judgment. Isn’t it better to live according to your rules and desires rather than society’s? It definitely is if you want to be happy.
  9. Relationships aren’t a scapegoat. It’s easy to think that if you had a great relationship, you’d be happier and more complete, but you have the power to be happy right now. You don’t need to wait for someone to come around and make it happen. Don’t think that your lack of relationship should be blamed for your feelings of dissatisfaction. You can fix those yourself without needing a man in your life and frankly, you definitely should.
  10. The grass isn’t greener on the relationship side. Sure, relationships can be great, but whether you’re single or taken, you’ll have amazing days and terrible ones. It’s easy to view relationships with rose-tinted glasses, but nothing is champagne and roses all the time. So really, what are you missing by not being in a relationship? Probably a lot less than you think.
  11. It’s all a state of mind. Here’s a radical idea: instead of trying to change your relationship status, change your thought patterns about relationships! Go on your own journey and discover what you really think about relationships and what you want from them. See what makes you amazing that doesn’t depend on having a special someone in your life. When you do that, you’ll see that the only thing wrong with not having a man is the negative thoughts you have surrounding it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.