I’ve Been Single So Long That I No Longer Have Standards

I’ve always had mega-low standards—seriously, a guy could be jobless with no money and annoying facial hair and I’ll still give him a chance. I’m super forgiving when it comes to the guys I date, so why aren’t they biting?

  1. I’m actually attracted to guys who are a little bit of a mess. It’s kinda funny because I find guys that other women consider low value to be super attractive. I like guys who are kinda rough around the edges, a little bit odd, not overly intelligent—you know, like the kid in class who got all Ds. Maybe it’s because I like the challenge of “fixing” someone, but I also just love how carefree these dudes are. Am I the only one who feels this way?
  2. At this point, I’ll take anyone. I’ve been single for way too long and at this point, I feel like I’ll hook up with any guy who gives me a second look. I’ve always had pretty low standards and am often very forgiving of guys who most people would write-off completely. I know that doesn’t sound great, but I’m just being honest.
  3. I see the good in people. My low standards are a direct result of being too positive. I always look on the bright side and choose to see the good traits in people over the bad ones. So even if the guy I’m interested in is $100k in debt, I can still appreciate him for his sparkling eyes. I thought this was a good way to be, but clearly it’s leaving me dateless.
  4. I’m like the opposite of picky. So many of my girlfriends will totally rag on the guys they’re seeing and complain about every little thing, like the fact that he wears the same clothes a lot or leaves dirty dishes in the sink. I couldn’t care less about this kinda stuff; in fact, my girlfriends have told me before that it’s boring talking about relationship stuff with me because I never have anything to complain about. It’s because my standards are so low! I’m starting to realize that’s probably a bad thing…
  5. It’s making me think I’m doing something wrong. If I’m willing to basically date every and any guy in the tri-state area, then why am I still single? I’m starting to think that I’m the reason I’m not reeling anyone in. Am I not putting out “the vibe”? Am I acting like a tool and just don’t know it? I can’t figure it out…
  6. I’ve dated guys who don’t even have jobs. Most girls will say that as long as the guy they’re dating has a job, they’re good to go. I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I actually used to date a guy who was on unemployment insurance and it didn’t even phase me. At this point, I’m getting so desperate that I feel like even homeless dudes aren’t out of the question. It’s a serious problem.
  7. Why aren’t guys picking up on my high level of tolerance and acceptance? You would think that the fact that I’m so accepting and loving of all types of guys that they’d be flocking to me in droves, but so far, my free-spirited outlook isn’t attracting anyone to me. I really don’t get it.
  8. Honestly, all I really require is a guy that’s kinda nice. As long as he’s genuinely nice, he stands a chance with me. He could have missing teeth, no hair, be way out of my age range, have a chronic illness and be unemployed and I would give him a free pass as long as he’s kind to me and everyone else in the world. Surely there’s one nice guy out there…
  9. Am I being too much of a pushover? I kinda started thinking that maybe the fact that I’m being too flexible with who I’m willing to date makes me seem a bit…spineless. Almost like I don’t care enough about who I’m with. Why should people care to be with me? I’m starting to realize I’m a total pushover.
  10. My standards are getting lower and lower. As the months go by, I can feel my standards reaching an all-time low. Being single for two years does something weird to you. It makes you kinda desperate, so even if a guy seems totally weird and not that nice, I still find myself wanting to at least give him a chance when I would have never done that in the past. I need to take a step back, raise my standards, and THEN look for love. Maybe I’ll have better luck that way around.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.