I’ve Been Single Way Too Long — I Need The Next Guy I Date To Be My Last

I can honestly say that dating sucks. Sure, some dates are better than others and I’ve met some halfway decent guys, but nine times out of ten, the first date is the only date I’ll have with a guy and it just seems like a giant waste of time. I want to find real, lasting love — I’m not interested in “hanging out”, hooking up, or “seeing where things go” with a guy who’s just going to ghost me in a few weeks or months. I want the next guy I date to be the last — here’s why:

  1. I’ve been single for long enough. I don’t need to focus on work instead of dating or take some time for myself. I’ve been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and watched Netflix on my own. I’ve gotten the single lifestyle out of my system and am totally ready for something real and hopefully permanent (or at least something with the potential to be).
  2. I know exactly what I’m looking for. Sure, I’m not dating according to some lame checklist or refusing to see the decent guy in front of me for who he really is. There’s a difference between being picky and knowing what you want, and I’ve got the latter part down. When I meet my ideal kind of guy, I’ll absolutely know right away.
  3. I feel older and wiser. My years of dating haven’t been super fun, and that’s why they’ve taught me so much. I wouldn’t trade those awkward, creepy, boring and everything in between first dates for anything in the world. They’re what make me excited for the moment when I realize the guy sitting across from me is totally who I’ve been searching for.
  4. I won’t make the same mistakes again. Like any woman, I wonder if I should have gone on certain second dates and if my love life would be totally different as a result. There’s no point in regretting those choices and yet it can be tough not to go down that road. But I won’t make the same mistakes again, like stressing too much about how much a guy texts me or judging someone too quickly. I’ve learned my lessons and I’m better for them.
  5. I don’t waste my own time. In the past, I might have worried too much about whether a guy liked me or agonized over how I felt. That’s not happening anymore. I’m done wasting my own time and can get out fast when it’s clear there’s zero connection. I’m not so desperate for love that I’ll hang onto anything that halfway resembles it. If it’s not real and we’re not on the same page, I’m out.
  6. I don’t date just to date. There was a time when it seemed super important to go on first date after first date, even if there were red flags or obvious reasons not to, but I don’t date just to date anymore. I’m hoping that by choosing dates more carefully, I’ll be way more likely to come across the caliber of guy I’m looking to settle down with.
  7. Dating can be so immature. Not only are a lot of guys super immature, but dating in general really needs to grow up. Between not wanting to show emotions to ghosting to being vague about literally everything, it’s safe to say that dating is the worst. I’m going to be glad to say goodbye to it once I meet the right person, and hopefully that’ll happen sooner rather than later.
  8. I’m in tune with my gut. Your gut is your BFF in life and it’s always a good idea to listen to it. I listen to my gut 100% on dates and that helps me weed out the guys I definitely never want to see again. My gut is totally going to help me know when the next guy I’m dating should be the last one.
  9. It feels like the right time. People always say that you’ll meet your person when the time is right, and I’m hoping that’s the truth. It feels like the right time, at least, and sometimes having that hope is enough. I want to start building a future with someone — I just have to find him first.
  10. Things have to work out eventually. It’s easy to think that being single is going to last forever when life is one bad date after another. I’m done thinking about that and am now choosing to believe that things have to work out eventually. That’s the only way I’m going to get through my remaining single girl days, so I might as well stay positive. There’s no reason that with enough time and perseverance, I wouldn’t find love. I want the next guy I date to be the last — and I’m hoping he won’t take too much longer to show up.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.