I’ve Been Single For Two Years And You Won’t Believe All The Stuff I’ve Gotten Done

When my five-year relationship ended, I was devastated. I’d spent so many years of my life being attached to someone and it wasn’t until I spent two years alone that I realized what I was missing out on.

  1. I’ve started my own business. After being single for two years, I can now say that I’m fully self-sufficient. I work exclusively for myself and have established my own business as a professional writer. I honestly doubt that I would’ve had the mental energy or drive to do that if I was in a relationship. Admittedly, I always had it in the back of my head that whatever happened, I could always just rely on my partner to support me financially. It wasn’t until I was on my own for a long time that I realized I didn’t want or have to live that way.
  2. I’ve saved up a ton of money. Being in a relationship can be expensive—dinner dates, buying each other gifts, splitting expensive weekend getaways… the list goes on and on. Most of my boyfriends have been struggling artists like me so there’s no way they were paying for the whole bill (and I would never expect them to). It’s just amazing how much money I’ve been saving now that I don’t have to pay for half of every date we would go on. I only have to worry about myself and that’s an awesome feeling.
  3. I’ve traveled extensively and all on my own. When I was in a relationship, I never would have dreamed of traveling by myself. I’d see my friends jetting off to remote destinations alone and think, “Wow, I’d never be able to do that.” However, after being single for a while, something switched in me and it started feeling a lot more realistic to go on a vacation solo. It’s something I’ve never done before, but for some reason I was braver and trusted myself more than I ever have in my life. I took a one-month trip to south-east Asia and it ended up being an experience I’ll never forget.
  4. I’ve gotten to know myself better. I’ve spent a lot of time rejecting myself throughout my life, wishing I was someone else. Spending all of this time on my own, I’ve had to learn to be OK with who I am. It wasn’t an easy process and I’m still far from being totally comfortable with who I am, but I’m a lot closer than I was two years ago.
  5. I’ve made some really good friends. I used to be friends with couples and honestly, they weren’t that exciting. Why is it that single people are so cool and fun? Maybe it’s because we don’t have an agenda or expectations for ourselves, we just take life as it comes. I met a lot of really cool people on my trip who I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been interested in talking to if I was with someone.
  6. I’ve found out what I’m really good at. Instead of being who I thought my partner wanted me to be, I became just me. I quickly realized that I have a lot more to offer to the world than I previously thought. Spending all of that time alone allowed me to explore my deeper yearnings and forced me to ask myself, what do I REALLY want to do with my life? Turns out I’m not just good at writing, I’m also good at public speaking, acting, and writing songs!
  7. I finished my play. I’ve been working on this damn behemoth of a play for ages and the second my boyfriend and I broke up two years ago, I had nothing else to do but channel my hurt and angst into it. It’s now totally finished and ready for a staged reading. I doubt that I would have ever had the motivation to finish it if I didn’t get dumped and forced myself to stay single for two years.
  8. I’ve gotten seriously in shape. One of the great things about being single is that you have a lot more time to exercise. I established a solid exercise routine and got totally jacked. I’m seriously so strong now and have tons of energy to spare. I’ve never looked or felt better and that has to be a good thing.
  9. I’ve finally become OK with being alone. I used to loathe being by myself, so I was pretty surprised how quickly I adapted to living the single life. It’s in no way a death sentence. In fact, it’s made me a lot more confident as a person. I know that if things get messy, I can depend on myself to clean them up.
  10. I’ve embraced my power as a woman. It sounds cliche and should be common sense, but I honestly don’t need a man to complete me and it took me a long time to truly realize that. Being single for two years allowed me to harness my feminine energy in ways I could have never imagined. I used to be very easily swayed somewhat weak-willed, but now I feel a lot more grounded and trust myself as a powerful, all-knowing woman.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.