As A Single Woman, Happiness Is My New Goal, Not Marriage

Many single women feel like marriage is the ultimate key to eternal happiness, and I used to feel the same way. However, the older I get, the more I realize that I’m in control of and responsible for my own life’s joy, so instead of spending so much energy focusing on marriage goals, I’ve decided to focus on those things that genuinely make me happy.

  1. I’d rather spend time advancing my career. My professional success is very important to me. I get such a high each time I take another step up the career ladder. Too often, women’s professional goals are seen to be problematic in that they’re keeping us from settling down, getting married, and popping out kids—things we may not even want, I might add. My success makes me happy and it’s worth every bit of my time and energy, so that’s exactly what I’m doing.
  2. I love hanging out with my closest friends. I’ve been blessed with the absolute best friends on earth and I truly treasure our relationships. They’re some of my biggest cheerleaders, they make me a better person, and they play a vital role in my overall happiness. Instead of focusing on the romantic relationship I don’t have, I choose to cherish the platonic ones I’ve been blessed with. After all, these people are the ones who will be there through it all.
  3. Bonding with my family is equally as important. The joy I feel around the table during family dinners would be hard to replace. I’m always looking for more ways to create family time because they truly mean the world to me. They’re supportive and they love me unconditionally. Having strong ties to my family members is an ultimate goal and one that I will continue to pursue regardless of my relationship status.
  4. I want to travel the world. I love to travel. I’ve visited several different cities and countries but there are so many others still on my list. Traveling offers so many benefits. In addition to being an escape from the real world, it’s can also be very educational and enlightening. I always seem to return home with a new sense of purpose and gratefulness.
  5. I enjoy my “me time.” It may seem strange that being alone is listed among my life goals but it makes perfect sense to me. Spending time alone provides a bit of self-rejuvenation. Whether I’m cuddled up on the couch enjoying a good book or catching up on my favorite television show, I can find plenty of happiness spending quality time with myself.
  6. I view my self-sufficiency as an accomplishment. My ability to take care of myself makes me very happy. It’s a great feeling knowing that I am my own provider. My self-reliance gives me a confidence boost that’s reflected in other areas of my life too. I rarely see a task as too difficult to take on. That’s a great attitude to have and one that I plan to keep even if I do end up in a relationship down the road.
  7. I love marching to the beat of my own drum. There’s nothing more satisfying than being able to make my own decisions and not have to worry about how those decisions will affect anyone else. I absolutely love the fact that I don’t have to consult with anyone about my own life choices. It’s a beautiful feeling and one that I’m not quite ready to give up.
  8. I love the freedom of dating around. Since I’m not married, I’m able to enjoy all that dating has to offer. This includes going out with multiple people at once. These dating options make me happy. I’m not a player or a user, not by a long stretch, but being able to spend time with whoever I want whenever I want is pretty sweet.
  9. I enjoy the carefree approach to love and relationships. I truly believe people would take more risks in relationships if they weren’t so concerned about things not working out in the end. I’m not advocating recklessness but there is something to be said about living in the moment and enjoying each season you’re in. There’s no pressure when you’re single. If things don’t work out, it’s OK.
  10. Being married doesn’t automatically make you happy. This is the bottom line. Once the wedding is over and the honeymoon had ended, maintaining that happiness requires work. This is why I choose to view my goals from a different lens from here on out. As a single woman, if I focus on the things that truly make me happy, anything else that comes along, be it marriage or a family, is simply a bonus to an already wonderful life.
Lyanna Sir is a freelance writer and founder of Lyanna's Language, LLC. She has a passion for women's empowerment, which includes promoting healthy relationships and self-discovery to true happiness. When she's not writing, you can find her in a car or on a plane headed somewhere fun and exciting.