Why Sleeping Alone Is The Best Thing Ever

Cuddling is amazing. Getting all cozy with someone you really like while watching a movie or just chatting in bed is never a bad thing. But when did everyone decide that cuddling while sleeping was not only acceptable, but desirable? Here’s the thing— sleeping is a solitary activity. So why do people like having someone else crowding them when they’re trying to relax? Maybe it’s just the lifelong struggle of someone who’s a light sleeper, but given the choice I’ll choose an empty bed every time.

  1. No sharing the blankets. Waking up freezing because your bed buddy has rolled over and taken the entire blanket with them? Never happens. The half asleep tug of war you’re forced to engage in has a way of making it difficult to fall back asleep. Better to just have your own blanket. Or your own bed.
  2. You can fart without fear of judgement. We all fart in our sleep. It’s a fact. Hopefully if you have a steady boyfriend, it’s no big deal. But when you’re sleeping with someone new, it’s hard to really relax for fear of letting a fart slip out. When you’re by yourself you’re free to pass gas whenever the mood strikes.
  3. No one snoring in your ear. Finding a man who doesn’t snore at least a little bit is next to impossible. But it’s even worse when they insist on spooning with you and all you can focus on is their hot, heavy, snore-breathing directly in your ear. There are always ear plugs, but sleeping alone is silence guaranteed.
  4. No dodging the limbs of thrashers. No one likes getting smacked in the face by wildly swinging limbs. Or kicked in the shin when their sleep partner has a particularly violent dream twitch. And you can’t even get mad at them for giving you a black eye because they were sleeping, they couldn’t help it.
  5. You can sleep in the middle of the bed. That means you can stretch out into spread eagle position if that’s what you want. No waking up sore and stiff because you had to stay on your side of the bed and didn’t want to move around too much for fear of waking them up.
  6. You aren’t really alone. The other side of the bed is covered in books, clothes, your laptop, maybe a snack or two, a bottle of water, your phone, your iPod, socks in case your feet get cold, and an extra pillow just in case you do feel like cuddling. Everything you need is right there and all you have to do is roll over.
  7. You aren’t woken up by anyone’s alarm but your own. Dreading the minute your alarm goes off every morning is bad enough without being woken up an hour early by someone else’s alarm. And it’s even worse when they press snooze three times, and ignore the incessant buzzing for a good two minutes before getting up
  8. You don’t have to accommodate anyone else’s sleeping preferences. If you like it pitch black, and super warm when you sleep, then pitch black and warm it will be. You won’t have to worry about having a human heater in bed beside you soaking through the sheets with his sweat. You can just do you.
  9. You can toss and turn without worrying you’re waking someone up. Some nights sleep doesn’t come very easily, and we end up tossing and turning in vain. If you’re alone you can turn on the light and read for awhile, or just thrash around until you tire yourself out. There’s no one else to tell you not to.
  10. Sleeping alone is actually better for your relationship. It’s pretty frustrating when your boyfriend can sleep through everything, but you’ll lay there awake all night because of his snoring and thrashing. Before too long you’ll be silently resenting him and you’ll just be all around grouchy because of lack of sleep. You’ll be picking fights just so you can order him to sleep on the couch. Studies have actually shown that couples who insist on sleeping together have a harder time getting quality rest, and that can lead to other problems.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.