Is Sleeping With Your Ex Really That Bad For You? Maybe Not…

While conventional wisdom would advise you to stay as far away from your ex as possible after your breakup if you want to get over him and move on with your life, it turns out that going back for one last hookup might not actually be that big of a deal. In fact, the results of a new study suggest that sex with your ex won’t do you that much harm (probably).

Research performed at Wayne State University in Detroit and published in Archives of Sexual Behavior focused on 113 people who’d recently been through a breakup. Participants were asked to fill out a series of surveys which questioned their post-split contact with their ex, how they felt about it, and how emotionally attached they still felt to their ex. Another part of the study saw participants report their actual or reported hookups with their exes as well as how they felt about it two months later. The conclusion? Ex sex is kinda NBD.

The study did find that those who were still hung up on/missing their exes were way more likely to pursue post-breakup hookups (duh) but even those people didn’t really experience negative consequences from their behavior. In fact, they actually felt better about their lives in general afterward. Go figure!

As lead study author Stephanie Spielmann explained, “This research suggests that societal hand-wringing regarding trying to have sex with an ex may not be warranted. The fact that sex with an ex is found to be most eagerly pursued by those having difficulty moving on, suggests that we should perhaps instead more critically evaluate people’s motivations behind pursuing sex with an ex.”

Obviously if you’re sleeping with your ex in an attempt to get him back, that’s probably going to backfire and may not be a good thing. You could also trigger some potentially upsetting feelings that you haven’t yet worked through, which kinda sucks. At the end of the day, it’s probably better to move on without looking back, but for most people, hooking up with your ex once or twice isn’t something to worry about it. Once it’s over, it’s onwards and upwards to something better.

Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia
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