I’ve struggled with poor self-esteem and I know I’m not the only one. I never felt good enough, but then I started to realize how pointless it was to think that way. Here are some strategies I used to work on feeling more self-assured. Give these a try—they might help you too.
I don’t think or speak negatively about myself. I never tell myself I’m ugly or fat, nor do I make comments to my friends about it. I try to focus on my good qualities and what I know my strengths are. Focusing on the positive and not the negative has slowly changed how I feel about myself and has given me much more confidence.
I don’t compare myself to others. It’s much easier to see the good in myself when I don’t compare myself to anyone else, especially on social media since we all know how misleading it can be. There’s always going to be someone better looking or more successful than I am, but who cares? It doesn’t diminish my accomplishments at all. I should be proud of what I’ve achieved regardless of what others do. Once I started to accept this, my self-esteem greatly improved.
I truly believe I can do anything I set my mind to. It really is possible to accomplish anything I want to if I want it bad enough. If sexual predators can attain high positions in the government, then I can definitely achieve my (much more legal and ethical) goals. Anyone can! When I started believing I could do anything, my confidence went way up.
I force myself out of my comfort zone sometimes. I do things that make me comfortable and happy, but I also try to do things sometimes that might make me a little nervous. When I find out I can do things I didn’t think I could, it helps me realize I really can do anything I set my mind to, and this gives me all the confidence in the world.
I give myself words of affirmation every day. Even when people try to bring me down, I don’t listen to them. Instead, I tell myself I’m killing it and that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about me. I keep moving forward. This stops me from doubting myself and my choices and keeps me from giving in to negative opinions.
I prepare for everything. Feeling prepared for any situation helps me feel more self-assured. For example, I always research and rehearse before a school or work presentation, sometimes to a point of obsession. I also try to be prepared for any outcome in any given situation, good or bad. Being ready for anything helps me have confidence that I can handle anything life throws at me.
I constantly work toward my life goals. This means taking big and small steps toward the goals I want to achieve. I make a conscious decision every day to make choices that will lead me to where I want to be. When I know I’m doing everything I can to move my life forward, I really feel like I have my stuff together and am way more confident.
I look my best. I make sure I feel good about how I look no matter what others think. For me personally, I feel the most confident wearing my gym clothes. It can be something different for everyone though. Another woman might feel her best going makeup-free for example. Being happy with my outward appearance (as well as what I feel on the inside, of course) gives me a self-esteem boost.
I take care of my health. I feel gross when I don’t take care of myself, and this causes my self-esteem to plummet. When I exercise and eat right, my physical and mental both improve. It’s honestly what keeps me sane, and it gives me confidence because I look and feel my strongest. When I’m healthy, I feel much more sure of myself.
I realize no one is perfect so I shouldn’t expect to be. Even those that seem to have everything they’ve ever wanted still struggle with self-image—just look at some celebrities who’ve fallen from grace as an example. I finally understand that I don’t have to have it all to be worth something. I try to love myself despite my imperfections because everyone has them.
I recognize that having confidence takes time. Poor self-image isn’t cured overnight. It takes small changes in my attitude and actions that will eventually lead me to where I want to be. I need to have patience and give myself a break. I do my best to focus on the positive, and it has kept me on track toward being my best confident self.