You’re an intelligent, perceptive, intuitive woman… and yet you always end up with dudes who are dumber than a bag of rocks. It’s not an intentional choice, but it is something that happens more often than you’d like to admit. What’s up with that?
- You want to believe he’s a good guy. He was the only guy with enough balls to approach you—some guys are intimidated by successful women, after all—so you think that he deserves a chance. If you never get approached by guys for that reason, then you’ll badly want him to be good. What happens when he proves that he isn’t? You might not give up on him. Instead…
- You think you can change him. You’re so brilliant at problem-solving activities in the workplace or home, so you figure that you’ll be able to fix whatever’s wrong with this guy. Maybe he just needs to quit drinking so much. Or maybe he just needs to work through his massive trust issues. The problem is that changing one’s partner never works.
- You don’t want to be seen as fussy. You’ve got your life together and you have high standards. Some people might say that you’re too fussy for your own good when it comes to dating and because of this, you might think you have to be less critical of guys. Bingo, you settle for an average guy instead of an amazing one.
- You’re worried time’s running out. You’ve been building your empire for ages and you worry that you haven’t dedicated enough time to finding your forever person. This can cause you to panic and think that you have to turn a blind eye to the guy’s faults in order to have someone.
- You work way too hard. Yeah, you work hard on your career, but this can easily translate into working too hard in your relationship. While it’s good to meet one’s partner halfway and carry the load sometimes, it’s not cool if you’re always the one doing everything. Relationships are supposed to be balanced.
- You’re a target for toxic guys. If a toxic guy wants to find a woman who can rescue him, he’ll target a strong, independent, and kick-ass woman to achieve this goal. That’s why sometimes lazy-assed guys will get with successful women, or guys who feel weak and insecure will go for strong women. Sadly, these women end up having to rescue or uplift their partners time and time again, and they get nothing in return.
- You don’t have time. When a smart woman wants to date but doesn’t have much time to dedicate to the activity, this might cause her to date guys who are less than what she knows she deserves. Besides, not having time means that you probably don’t have the energy for it either, so you might end up settling.
- You’re too busy. That’s not a problem, of course, but it can be when it comes to screening a date. If you’re so busy with other things in her life, you might not spot the red flags in your partner.
- You thrive on a challenge. This is linked to how you think you can change the guy. Smart women love challenges and overcoming them gives them a thrill. The problem? A guy who’s “challenging” is not a good thing. Soon, he’s going to prove that he’s a waste of your time and energy.
- You like that he wants space. It’s awesome when a woman who’s independent and has her act together finds a guy who’s the same and likes to do his own thing from time to time. The problem is that he might be the kind of guy who’s never around and not emotionally available, meaning that your needs don’t get met. He says that he likes space, but he might mean he likes space so he can mess around and only stick with her when it’s convenient for him.
- Because it can happen to anyone! It’s easy to think that smart, successful women should be immune to toxic guys and especially abusers, but the truth is that anyone can become a victim. After all, bad guys don’t show that they’re a woman’s worst nightmare — they rock up like knights in shining armor with a lot of charm to go around. Anyone can fall prey to them, even smart women who thought they never would.
