During cuffing season, the goal is to find someone to spend the short, dark, freezing cold days with so that you don’t have to go it alone. They don’t have to be long-term relationship material or even someone you’re all that compatible with. They just have to be relatively agreeable and willing to shack up until spring. However, not everyone is into this idea. In fact, the snow storming dating trend is turning cuffing season on its head. It’s actually a game-changer!
What is the snow storming dating trend all about?
Picture a winter blizzard. Those thick blankets of brilliantly white snow pile up, creating an eerie sense of quiet and calm everywhere. The snow storming dating trend puts this in human terms: You end a relationship cleanly and decisively while everyone else is clinging to their cuffing season partner. The reasons you decide to break up now may vary. Maybe you’re suddenly realizing your partner makes you miserable. Perhaps you’re deciding how you’d like to change things in the coming year and it dawns on you that you no longer want them in your life. Or, maybe you’re just fed up of dragging around a relationship that’s been dead for a long time.
While snow storming might seem like a new dating trend, it’s actually been happening for a while — we’ve only just coined a term for it. In fact, all the way back in 2010, Facebook data (via Business Insider) found that mid-December was one of the most popular times for couples to break up. And while dealing with a holiday breakup can be devastating, it’s much easier to cope with when you’re the one making the decision. Especially when you know it’s the right one.
Why it’s a good thing for dating
Generally speaking, leaving a situation that isn’t serving you or that is actively making you miserable is a good thing. That’s what the snow storming dating trend is really all about: getting out of a crappy relationship. Where most couples might put off a breakup so as not to be alone over the winter, people who practice snow storming do so because they realize there’s no time like the present. After all, your time is valuable. Why should you waste it?
“Someone shouldn’t break up with someone just because the year is coming to a close and they’re in and out with the old, in with the new mentality; you can create something new with your current partner,” explains sex and relationship coach Suzannah Weiss. “However, if you are no longer happy in your relationship or your partner isn’t treating you well, you also shouldn’t let the pressure of cuffing season cause you to stay with them. And there is something to be said for reflecting on what’s not working at the end of the year and increasing your standards for how you’re going to live the next year of your life.”
By dropping the dead weight from your life, you’re freer and ultimately have the ability to change the course of your life for the better. Not only that, but you open yourself up to the possibility of meeting someone who’s actually right for you, and that’s exciting!
How to find the courage to leave an unhappy relationship at this time of year
Even if you know splitting is the right decision, that’s not always easy to do. This is especially true at this time of year when everyone’s focus is on togetherness and joy. Plus, if you’ve been together for a long time, cutting the cord during the most miserable months of the year is bound to make it sting even more. Nevertheless, if you know dating this person is no longer working out, it’s time to put the snow storming trend into practice.
- Hit yourself with some home truths. If you’re putting off the split because you don’t want to feel down, it’s important to remember that it’s always going to hurt no matter when you end things. “Remind yourself that even though going through a breakup during the holidays will be sad, dragging the relationship out and becoming closer and more intertwined may make the breakup more complicated and messy,” Weiss advises. “If you are wanting to break up with this person, it is better to get it out of the way and be able to start the new year without that same back-and-forth in your mind about whether to break up.”
- Do some journaling. Sometimes writing down your feelings can really help to put them in perspective. Write a pros and cons list of breaking up. What do you stand to gain by ending your relationship? What will you lose by staying with your partner? By seeing it written down in black and white, you’ll see why the snow storming dating trend is so appealing.
- Enjoy being single around the holidays. While it’s nice to have someone to share things with, it’s even better to be free of a toxic or unfulfilling relationship. There are tons of things to love about being single around the holidays. You can spend more time with your friends and family, attend parties, and even chat to some new people. “Some people talk about post-breakup glow, where you feel great because you’ve let go of your ex and are out and about meeting people,” Weiss adds. “This glow period can be extra fun during the winter months as people are taking time off work and getting together, or even just taking time for themselves. Make a commitment to yourself to indulge in whatever you enjoy about this time regardless of your relationship status.”