I draw the line on ANY level of infidelity — and yes, a guy kissing someone who’s not me is enough for me to end things immediately. That’s exactly what happened with my ex — he kissed another girl and it ruined everything. Here’s why:
- A kiss is cheating. No excuses. There are many ways in which people can cheat, and different people define cheating in different ways. For me, even a kiss or holding hands is regarded as infidelity. Why? Because they’re supposed to be activities only done with your significant other. According to a report by two dating sites, 100% of women surveyed said that kissing definitely is cheating. Right on.
- It’s never “just a kiss.” People use this as a copout, in my opinion. How can a kiss only be the locking of lips and nothing else? There had to have been some interest, even just physical attraction and desire, for the kiss to have happened. There was no way my ex was going to be going around kissing women he felt no attraction to. WTF would have been the point then?
- It can be more intimate than sex. A kiss can be highly sexual! Even though people who are kissing aren’t necessarily undressed, there’s something really close and sexy about a kiss. Faces are pressed up against each other, tongues are in each other’s mouths, breaths are consumed. Come on! Sex can sometimes even be less intimate and just about sex, but a kiss is more soulful.
- It kisses trust goodbye. It doesn’t matter if people view a kiss as cheating or not, but there’s no doubt that it can totally ruin trust in a relationship. After the guy I dated confessed to kissing another woman, I always had the niggling feeling that it would happen again. What made it worse was that he didn’t see it as serious as having sex, so what would stop him from doing it again?
- A kiss can lead to worse things. If someone cheats on me by kissing another person, I’m always going to worry that they’ll not only do it again but do something worse – perhaps next time the kiss will lead to touching or sex. A kiss is the gateway drug to greater infidelity and if I put up with it, I fear that it will come back to bite me in the butt. I don’t want to stick around to see if my fears come true.
- It’s not unreasonable to want respect for the “little things.” Ending an otherwise wonderful relationship over a kiss might be viewed by some as being unreasonable, but I really don’t think it’s crazy to expect that your partner isn’t going to go around sticking his tongue in other women’s mouths. It’s about respect, for crying out loud! Respecting me means not violating boundaries, whether physical or emotional ones. Period.
- The idea that infidelity has different degrees feels like BS. There are some who believe that there are different degrees of infidelity. So, a kiss would be considered less serious than having sex. This might be true, but it’s crap to try to categorize cheating, especially when you’ve been on the receiving end of betrayal and your emotions are firing on all cylinders. Does a kiss really hurt less than sexual betrayal? If so, does it make it less nasty? A kiss betrayal is still painful as hell at the end of the day, pain that I never asked for when agreeing to be exclusive — and pain I don’t deserve.
