If you’ve been through one too many bad breakups and are starting to feel disenchanted with love, don’t. While it’s easy to view past relationships as failures because they ended, it’s all a matter of perspective. After all, if you’re not still together, it obviously wasn’t meant to be. That doesn’t make what you had pointless. Maybe your ex’s purpose in your life was to make you a better woman for the right man down the line.
- You learned a lot about yourself. Sure, you broke up in the end, but chances are your relationship with your ex taught you so much about yourself. You came out of the relationship a different person than when you went into it, and that’s commendable. Life is about growing and evolving, and even failed relationships have important things to teach us.
- You learned a lot about love. Even if your relationship ended badly and your ex betrayed you in some way, that doesn’t mean he didn’t love you or vice versa. Loving someone always expands our horizons. It makes us more patient, empathetic, kind, and affectionate. All of those qualities are wonderful to have in life in general and will serve you well in the future.
- You figured out what you want and don’t want. Things went wrong with your ex for a reason, and that’s likely because you were headed in completely different directions and wanted different things out of life and love. This experience likely helped you realize the things you’re looking for in a partner and in a relationship and the things you definitely don’t want. With this knowledge, you can move forward into the next relationship much better equipped to set standards.
- You established boundaries. Maybe your ex disrespected you in certain ways or did things you were uncomfortable with. Maybe you didn’t know how to communicate your boundaries at the time, but you certainly do now. In addition to realizing what you want and don’t want, you also realize that you can choose what you will and will not accept in a relationship. When you meet someone new, you’ll be able to establish boundaries from the very beginning to ensure you’re treated the way you should be.
- You flexed your heart muscles. Don’t ever feel silly, stupid, or bad for loving someone. It doesn’t matter if your ex basically threw your love back in your face or didn’t return it in the way he should have. The fact that you loved him, that you really pushed yourself to be selfless, thoughtful, and caring about another person is such a gift and something to be proud of.
- You allowed yourself to be brave. On a similar note, know that it takes courage to love someone. It’s natural to be scared of being hurt and getting your heart broken, especially if you’ve experienced that before. It’s painful, and we all want to avoid pain. However, you should give yourself credit for being brave enough to try it. It may not have ended who you wanted it to end, but that’s all part of the journey.
- You gave it your all. You didn’t give up at the first hurdle. When things got rocky with your ex, you kept pushing on. You tried to work through problems, you put in the effort to make him feel loved, appreciated, and supported. You made it clear how much you wanted to make it work and you did everything you could to make that happen. Just because you weren’t able to save things isn’t a failure. Relationships are a two-way street and it wasn’t all your responsibility.
- You’re worthy of a love that’s worthy of you. Your ex was in your life for a reason: to prepare you for a love that’s actually worthy of you. It may be your next relationship, or it may not. We can never anticipate when our person will enter our life, but as long as you refuse to give up hope and keep your heart open, you’ll see one day just how worth it your past relationships really were because they brought you to where you are now.