Sometimes, Dating Feels Like A Game I Just Can’t Win

I hate the dating game, but you can’t win if you don’t play, right? Well, I’m definitely out there trying but sometimes I feel like I’m just losing. Here’s why:

Everyone plays by their own rules.

It seems like there are no set rules in this game — it’s like the Wild West out there. Nothing is black and white; everything is one blah shade of grey where anything goes and it’s so frustrating. If the end goal is that we all want to find love, wouldn’t it be better to get on the same page and work together to get there? I’m tired of putting my best foot forward for love, only to be screwed over by guys who think they can get away with bullsh*t behavior.

There’s way too much cheating going on. 

When you team up with one player, you don’t get cozy with another — that’s a basic tent of the game, right? If I manage to find someone I connect with, I always consider myself lucky and would never do anything to intentionally mess that up or take a guy for granted. Sadly, guys never really offer me the same in return. I’ve been cheated on more times than I can count and end up with my heart broken. WTF?

So many people just don’t play fair.

I know life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t mean we should all make it harder for each other. I’ve had guys try to convince me that they were falling in love with me when in reality, they were just hoping it would get me into bed. Maybe their intention was to have fun for a while rather than to settle down, but the very least they can do is be honest about it. Anything less just isn’t fair.

The stakes are too damn high.

You either find true love or you get your heart shattered into a million pieces — and good luck putting it back together. I want happily ever after but am I willing to lay my heart on the line? Sometimes (particularly after every heartbreak), I just don’t know. It’s a risky game but the alternative is a life forever alone, so I just keep playing. I really am damned if I do and damned if i don’t. Love seems like it should be easy, so why am I fighting so hard to get it — and why do I lose so much once it’s gone?

It turns friends into brutal competitors.

I’ll never put a guy before my friends, but how many women truly feel the same? Instead of teaming up against the jerks of the male population, we attack each other with labels of “easy” and “whores.” We fight over guys and sacrifice friendships all in the name of a love that doesn’t always work out. Somehow we’ve all turned against each other when we should be banding together. I thought that finding love was supposed to be fun, but this feels like war.

I end up battling for something (or someone) that isn’t even worthy of me.

I’m competing against guys who won’t grow up, other women and even myself. Too often I’m my own worst enemy. I fight with all my heart for a guy who ends up not even wanting me and then the heartbreak turns me into some crazy, lonely girl I barely recognize. I’m working this hard for a guy who doesn’t even care, but I never know until it’s too late.

Being single makes me feel like a loser sometimes. 

So often when you’re a single woman, people treat you like you’re incomplete. I’m not. I’m perfectly whole, but it can feel like I’m the only person who knows that. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been single — the fact that I haven’t found the right guy doesn’t mean something’s wrong with me. I know that and I try not to care, but it still sucks to know that’s how other people feel.

What if the reward doesn’t pan out? 

I’ve gone through a lot of pain and suffering all in the name of love, but what if I never find it? What if I get beat by all the players? I want to “win,” but do I really have to go through all this bullsh*t just to (maybe) get my prize? There’s no guarantee I’ll find love and that means that every time I got played, the endless nights at the bar and the countless hours I spent fighting for love would all be for nothing.

If I win, it’ll be worth it.

 I’ll either find love or die trying because heartbreak can almost kill you. No matter what happens, I know I’ll never give up. I’ll never stop trying, because I believe the one, my one, is out there and I know he’s fighting for me too. This game might be a losing battle but in the end, I hope the love I find will be worth it.

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