Here’s Why You Sometimes Have To Force Yourself To Go On Dates

Here’s Why You Sometimes Have To Force Yourself To Go On Dates ©iStock/DragonImages

The idea of going on dates is really great in theory: you meet a new guy, there’s the possibility of love in the air and you have a good time. In reality, of course, it’s nothing like that. Real connections and fun are so rare, and instead, you answer the same boring questions and try to make your personality sparkle while your heart just isn’t in it. But if you want to find love, or at least a new relationship, sometimes you have to force yourself to go on dates.

  1. You’ll never leave your apartment. Sad but true. Or maybe it’s not really that sad, because your apartment is a pretty magical place, since you’ve got access to snacks and Netflix. If you ever want to go on another first date again — and you probably do — then you have to give yourself a pep talk and get out there.
  2. You won’t want to date. Have you ever gone on a dating hiatus? For the most part, you want to get back into the swing of things, but sometimes the opposite can happen and you realize how great life without dates can be. If you don’t make yourself date every once in a while, you’re going to give up entirely, and giving up on love is not only crazy, it’s pretty lame.
  3. You’re never going to enjoy dating. That’s just a fact. Dating sucks, and nothing ever happens the way that you want it to. You make mistakes, you say the wrong thing, you say the right thing but it makes zero difference. So when you accept the honest truth that dating blows and you’re never going to think it’s fun, you’re going to need to get your butt off the couch and out the door.
  4. You have zero clue about the future. If you stay single and refuse to date, sure, your future is pretty obvious: you’re going to be alone. If you keep going on dates, even if you don’t want to, you’re upping your chances of getting the future that you dream of. Since you don’t know who you could meet or when you could finally find love, you might as well get out there.
  5. There’s no downside to dating. You’re going to say dating is boring, frustrating, and nerve-racking. Of course it is. But that’s not a bad thing. That’s just life. Nothing is perfect or even fun all the time, so why would you expect dating to be? If you go on a date, two things will happen: you’ll meet someone you like or you’ll continue on your single girl journey. Both are totally fine.
  6. You can still focus on your life. Just because you have to force yourself to date sometimes doesn’t mean that has to happen every week. Or even every month. Go ahead and take breaks when you want, and don’t lose sight of your career goals, your girls nights out or your hobbies.
  7. You deserve to date. You don’t need to accept the idea that you’ll never meet a great guy, because why do you need to think that way? You deserve to find love and you deserve to date. Don’t let your fears or hatred of those boring, awkward first dates stop  you from what you really want. Go on first dates, and once you click with someone, you’ll be so glad that you did.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.