Sometimes It Takes Getting Dumped To Figure Out What You Want

Getting dumped isn’t exactly most people’s idea of fun, so it’s understandable that you might be pretty hurt when your boyfriend suddenly turns into your ex-boyfriend. But even though it may not seem like it at the time, getting broken up with might actually benefit you in the long run. Here’s why you should dry your tears and remember that this is simply the start of something new and better for you:

  1. You got too comfortable. Falling into a routine when you’re in a relationship is pretty much inevitable. In fact, that’s even part of the appeal of dating one person exclusively. But if you’re so set in your ways that it could be considered more of a rut than a healthy routine, you may have a problem. If your relationship was starting to hold you back, it’s probably for the best that it ended.
  2. You were afraid to be alone. A big reason people stay in less-than-stellar relationships is because they figure, at the very least, it’s better than being alone. In reality, being single doesn’t have to be that bad. In fact, it can be as amazing as you choose to make it. Once you realize that, you’ll never waste your time with someone who isn’t right for you again.
  3. You were letting your relationship define you. Instead of being your own person, you were one half of a couple. You probably didn’t have friends separate from him, and all your free time was most likely spent with him. You’re a lot more than someone’s girlfriend, and now you have no choice but to pay attention to those other parts of yourself.
  4. You didn’t realize what else was out there. The longer you’re with someone, the more out of touch you become with the dating scene. That’s completely normal considering you aren’t dating, but you might also forget that there are great guys out there and you have plenty of choices besides accepting jerk behavior or ending up forever alone.
  5. You made excuses for him. Your relationship wasn’t exactly perfect, but you were so blinded by your love for him that you were in denial about the deal-breakers actually being deal-breakers. If he was the one to break it off, you have no choice but to accept it’s over; you can’t choose to turn a blind eye to his flaws anymore.
  6. Now you have a chance to figure out who you are. Now that you’re single, there’s nothing to hold you back from being completely independent. If you’ve never had this opportunity before, it’s time to embrace the freedom and discover how incredible it can be to focus completely on your own needs.
  7. You were distracted by your relationship. The ups and downs of a relationship can be stressful and distracting. Instead of focusing all your energy on your career and accomplishing your goals, you probably wasted time fighting with your boyfriend or supporting him in his goals. Now you’re free to focus on yourself, and that can only be a good thing.
  8. When you’re single, it’s all about you. Being a good girlfriend probably meant you spent energy being there for him when he needed you and had to compromise on certain things like what you did on weekends, where you spent your holidays, and even what you ate for dinner. Now that it’s just you, you can do whatever you want whenever you want. That kind of freedom can be addictive.
  9. You never would have left the relationship on your own. If you were dumped, you probably didn’t want to leave the relationship. As terrible as that rejection feels, it’s also kind of gift. You didn’t have to be the one to work up the nerve to end things, but now that you’re free from a mediocre relationship, you can start seeing it as a blessing in disguise.
  10. Things can only go up from here. After you’ve been through a particularly rough break up, it probably feels like you’ve hit rock bottom. The good news is that you now know that you can handle whatever comes next and be okay. Since you have nowhere to go but up, you’re in the perfect position to figure out exactly what you want and stop settling for less than you deserve.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.