Stop Saying “It’s Complicated” When He’s Just Not Into You

Saying your relationship is “complicated” is equivalent to saying it’s heading for disaster. There shouldn’t be anything complicated about two people really wanting to be together, but if there is then that’s a clear indication that your relationship isn’t what it should be. Here’s what’s really going on:

  1. He doesn’t want any labels. This guy really hates labels. In fact, you could call him a label-phobe. If he doesn’t want to define your relationship, that’s a red flag. If he’s already acting like your boyfriend then what the hell is stopping him from calling you his girlfriend? It’s just a crap excuse he’s using so he doesn’t have to commit.
  2. He says that it’s just casual. In case you didn’t know if the guy you’re seeing tells you that you’re just “hanging out,” that means that he’s either not sure how he feels or he doesn’t see the relationship progressing. Of course, if you’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks then it’s probably not a red flag, but if it’s been a while and he still makes it clear that your relationship is casual then you need to accept that you probably want different things.
  3. You’re constantly questioning where you stand. Your relationship is built on drama and there’s always some kind of problem that keeps cropping up. It’s impossible to know how you feel because you’re always anticipating a breakup. Is it even worth it anymore? Probably not.
  4. He calls you his friend when he introduces you. Sorry, but if he calls you his friend when you’re out in public then that’s an obvious sign that that’s all you are to him: a friend. Sure, he might not know if you’re his girlfriend or not but any guy who’s really interested in a woman isn’t going to refer to her as just his friend. It’s probably because he’s not that into you.
  5. He keeps you a secret. You’ve told your friends, family, and colleagues about him but he hasn’t told any of the people in his life about you. In fact, some of them don’t even know you exist. It’s a huge insult and it’s pretty damn clear that he doesn’t see you as an important person. Forget him.
  6. None of his plans involve you. Have you noticed that he never invites you to anything? That’s probably because he looks at you as temporary. He doesn’t want to take the risk and introduce you to friends and family as he knows that it probably won’t last. Let’s face it, he’s keeping you around but he has no intention of staying with you long-term. It’s selfish AF.
  7. He says his feelings for you are complicated. In all honesty, feelings aren’t THAT complicated. It’s easy to tell if you like someone, so if this guy tells you that it’s “complicated” then just know that that’s total BS. What he really means when he says this is that he doesn’t want to let go of his options, which is why he’s keeping you on standby. It’s crap!
  8. You’re always breaking up and then getting back together. Honestly, at this point, you should probably accept that you’re not compatible. There was a reason you broke up the first time, and the second, and the third… Hell, the problem is staring right at you!
  9. He’s open about the fact he’s seeing other women. Even if you’re okay with the guy you’re dating seeing other women it definitely makes things complicated. It doesn’t mean that he’s not into you at all, but it does mean that his feelings for you aren’t as strong as you’d want them to be. To put it bluntly, he’s not looking for a serious relationship with you and that’s why it’s inevitably going to end in disaster.
  10. He’s only available when he wants to be. A guy who’s only available when it’s convenient for him isn’t going to be committed. He wants to see you but on his own terms and he expects you to be okay with that—WTF? It’s really not complicated to work out. He’s a jerk.
  11. He hints about leaving you. If he’s the one who keeps reminding you that things are complicated, then that could be a not-so-subtle hint that he’s planning on walking out of your life. Maybe he’s scared of getting too attached, or maybe there’s someone else. Either way, you’re better off being single than being with someone who won’t give you a label.
  12. You’re not sure how he feels about you. Truthfully, you don’t have a clue what’s going on in his head because he never talks to you. I mean, sure, he’ll talk to you about sex but he won’t tell you that he’s in love with you. Do you want to know why? He doesn’t. It’s harsh but what’s really going on here is that he can’t make up his mind about how he feels. Although if he can’t even bring himself to call you his girlfriend then it’s pretty clear that what he’s feeling isn’t love.
Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger with a special interest in Mental Health & wellness, Women's health, and relationships.

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