Sorry, But Being Single Isn’t As Great As Everyone Says It Is

If you’re single, you’re probably tired of hearing people say that you have it made. You’re supposed to love your life because you have total freedom (unlike those lame relationship people, or so the saying goes). However, you don’t feel free. In fact, you feel the complete opposite. Here’s why your single life is not so free after all:

  1. You worry you’re never going to fall in love. Coupled up people never have to worry about this (well, unless they don’t actually love their partners, but that’s another story). You think about this all the time and you’re not sure how to make yourself feel better. You feel trapped by your solo status and wish you could feel more hopeful than you usually do.
  2. You pressure yourself to go on dates. You totally get that if you want a relationship anytime soon, you have to go on dates. That makes sense and yet it’s the hardest thing to do. You pressure yourself to get your butt off the couch when you really want to do anything except meet another stranger. You pressure yourself to go on a certain number of dates since apparently dating is a numbers game, but you’re not exactly having tons of fun over here.
  3. You sometimes wonder how you got here. If you’re single AF then you definitely have moments when you look around and wonder how you got to this point in your life. It’s not like you wake up one day and decide to not have a boyfriend for two or even five years. It just kind of happens. And even though it might be because of a bunch of random factors like not meeting the right guys or going through a really bad breakup, you still wonder.
  4. You feel old. Or at least, you feel your age more intensely than people in relationships. When you’re 25 and still on your own, you start to wonder if you’re going to blink and be 30 and still solo. Every birthday feels like a slap in the face since you still don’t have a partner to call your own.
  5. You wonder if your exes were your only love stories. Maybe you should never have broken up with your last boyfriend. Sure, you were incompatible and you’ve been much happier without him, but what if he was as good as it basically gets for you? What if you’ve loved all the guys that you’re supposed to? It doesn’t sound like you feel very free, and that’s because you don’t.
  6. You feel trapped by your dealbreakers and your high standards. There was a time when these were the things that comforted you. Sure, you were single, but you wouldn’t date just anyone. You had to feel something and you wanted to make sure that you felt good about the person that you were bringing into your life. That’s all changed. Now your standards are trapping you since you wonder if the only way to have a relationship is to settle. And you really don’t want to do that.
  7. You’ve exhausted your options. You’ve been set up by your best friend and every coworker. You’ve talked to guys in bars and coffee shops. You’ve tried online dating, speed dating, and old-school dating. Nothing has worked and you have this distinct feeling that nothing ever will. And yet you keep swiping and chatting, hoping that you will be proven wrong.
  8. You get pretty sick of yourself. Sure, watching all the Netflix that you want is fun… for the first year that you’re single. After that, you wish that you had somewhere to go on a Friday night. You love your friends and nothing beats girls’ night out but at a certain point, you want a partner to share your life with and your evenings with. When you want something and can’t seem to get it, you definitely don’t feel super free.
  9. You can’t force love (or anything like it). If you want to say goodbye to being single, you would have to meet a guy that you feel a connection with. Easy, right? Totally wrong, of course. The only way to escape your plight (so to speak) is to force yourself to date someone that you don’t care about. That would be the worst thing ever so it’s no wonder you feel so trapped sometimes.
  10. You miss being someone’s girlfriend. The longer you’re single, the more this happens. You miss good morning and good night text messages, random make-out sessions, and feeling like someone thinks you’re special. And that’s just the short list. Sadly, you can’t magically turn into a girlfriend just like you can’t conjure a boyfriend out of thin air. So it looks like you’re stuck in your single life, wondering when things are going to change. You might as well be honest and admit that you’re not living a life of freedom after all.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.