“Sorry” Isn’t Nearly As Effective As Not Messing Up In The First Place

Even the best partners make mistakes sometimes, but if you mess up badly enough, I’m going to need to stand up for myself. Just because you apologize doesn’t mean I’m going to let everything go back to normal, so if you don’t want to lose me, make sure you’re careful with my heart.

  1. I’m thinking of us. The truth is I’m a little tired of hearing about the terrible things people who supposedly love each other do to one another, and I don’t want us to become like that. I’m not going to be a part of a cliche doomed love story with a complicated middle.
  2. Loving you is no excuse. I don’t want to be the girl who always takes you back because I love you. My love for you should never be an excuse for you to hurt me and get away with it. So when you come back telling me that you love me, remember I never stopped — I just remembered what I deserve.
  3. Sorry doesn’t always cut it. Words spoken after the damage has been done isn’t always enough. Of course I’ll forgive you for accidentally knocking over a glass figurine on my table, but truly hurt my feelings and I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with that to the point that I can trust you again.
  4. Trust is too easy to break. Trust is a big deal for me. I don’t give my all to just anyone. I didn’t pour my heart and soul into what we created if I didn’t trust you to help care for it with me. And if you crushed it all once, trampled all over our plans, I need to believe that you won’t do it again before I forgive you.
  5. I can’t have a half-hearted love. I refuse to stay and settle for what’s not enough. I’m afraid that forgiving you won’t always be what’s best for me or for us. I refuse to commit to us at the expense of what I need and the kind of love I deserve.
  6. I may need time. Hurt feelings may need some time to heal. You can’t expect me to take you back in a heartbeat, no matter how fast my heart may beat whenever you’re near. You may have made your decision quickly and carelessly, but you can’t just snap your fingers and make it go away. I’m going to need some time to clear my mind.
  7. I can walk away too. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s the thought of you walking away from all of this love we’ve created. True love may wait, yes, but the truth is true love never walks away. There are two of us in this remember? Walk away and I can’t promise I’ll still be standing where you left me.
  8. I won’t be left broken. Easier said than done, I know. But I’m adamant that I won’t be left broken and battered, clinging on to forced apologies. I refuse to let my whole world cave in when the hurt rains down. I’ll be okay. And I can be okay without the help of someone who didn’t care when it mattered most.
  9. I would expect you to do the same. I don’t want there to be any double standards with us. There are going to be times when I’m going to have to apologize for something I said or did that hurt you, and I’ll ask you to forgive me. But if you feel that our love won’t be the same, if you feel that you can’t forgive me to the point of loving me as you used to, then don’t. You owe the both of us that much.
Disney and life combined have made a starry eyed dreamer out of me. And I refuse to wake up.

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