It’s easy to fall into a pattern of dating as a means to an end, the end being getting married and living happily ever after — that is, until you realize that most guys are barely even deserving of the time it takes to meet them for a coffee date. Luckily, marriage isn’t exactly the non-negotiable life goal it used to be. You have absolutely no reason to settle for a guy that doesn’t deserve you, and if you can’t even find a guy who you genuinely want to make the effort to go on dates with, you’re certainly not going to consider getting married any time soon.
Your time is precious.
You aren’t exactly sitting around all day pining after the dream of having a boyfriend. You have a career and a social life that take up plenty of time as it is, so if you’re going to make time in your busy schedule to date someone, it’s sure as hell not going to be one of the stereotypical hookup boys that run rampant on Tinder these days.
You don’t need a guy for anything.
You make your own money, have your own friends, have plenty of interests to fill up your free time, and you have no problem having an orgasm whenever you want, so what exactly do you need a guy for? He’s going to have to really bring something to the table in order to get your attention, and the sad truth is that most guys just don’t have much to offer — at least they don’t act like it.
You don’t need the headaches.
There’s no way you’re going to subject yourself to the wondering and the hoping and the being disappointed if a guy isn’t 100 percent worth it. If he isn’t holding your interest from the get-go, there’s no point in keeping him around just to be ghosted later by someone you didn’t even really like that much. Being single sounds a lot more appealing than that, thanks.
Some guys don’t make any effort.
The kinds of guys who make dating a nightmare for everyone are the ones who play games and expect to get something when they’ve done nothing to earn it. For example, “hanging out” is not a date and going to one movie where you both bought your own tickets isn’t exactly all it takes to win you over. If he doesn’t know how to show he’s interested, then why should you do all the work for him?
Relationships take two.
You might be able to coerce a guy into dating you, but that’s the kind of guy you’re going to end up resenting because he just sits back and lets you do all the chasing. That’s never going to change. If he’s lazy when you’re dating, he’ll be lazy when you get married. A healthy relationship requires both people to put in the work, so if he’s not doing that, why bother dating him?
There’s no rush to settle down.
It’s not like you have a deadline to find a husband and you have to lock down the first guy that’s willing to go on a few mediocre dates with you. If he’s not doing it for you after a couple dates, he’s not going to do it for you once you’re married. The fact is, not everyone is going to be right for you, so you have to be willing to hold out for someone who is, no matter how long that takes.
Guys will do the bare minimum to get what they want.
There are a lot of jerks out there who know how to lay on the charm until they get what they want, only to disappear without a trace right after. Why waste your time trying to interpret if yet another player you met on Tinder is being genuine or not? Sure, it might sound jaded to assume every guy only wants one thing, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
How many guys are really worth the rest of your life?
Realistically, there are probably only a few guys out there who would make a worthy husband for you in particular. There might be great guys all over the place, but they aren’t all going to be great for you. So why waste time dating guys who aren’t even close to what you’re looking for?
Dating is a pain in the ass most of the time.
Choosing a time and place, deciding what to wear, thinking of engaging small talk that isn’t too generic, but isn’t too personal at the same time. It can all get pretty exhausting. Not to mention most dates are just okay. Better to save all your best dating material for someone who really deserves to meet the best parts of you.
Your standards are high for a reason.
No one is perfect, but that can be a tough pill to swallow when you’re at a time in your life when you feel like you have a lot to offer and you don’t want to settle for less than you deserve. Inevitably, the higher your standards are, the fewer options you’re going to have. The best guys always seem to be taken or uninterested in settling down. So it’s a lot easier to just stay single than change your dealbreakers just so you don’t have to be alone.
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