Why Your “Soulmate” Isn’t Necessarily “The One”

You were so sure he was your soulmate… until you broke up and went your separate ways. Wait, what? While it may seem heartbreaking that even soulmates aren’t a sure thing, the good news is you still have “The One” to look forward to. Confused? Check out these major differences between the two and find out why your soulmate isn’t always the one you’re destined to spend your life with.

  1. Soulmate Meetings Are A Force Of Nature. You and your soulmate could be on opposite sides of the world, moving in different directions and completely unaware of one another until one day—bam!—you collide. There’s no getting around it and no stopping it. Soulmate meetings are almost always soaked in serendipity.
  2. Meeting “The One” Will Be Sparked By Interest. “The One” will catch your attention (or perhaps your eye!) before they catch your heart. Physical attraction, common interests or familiarity (in the workplace, within your circle of friends or because of your daily routine) are all factors that could potentially bring you and “The One” together.
  3. When You’re With Your Soulmate, You Feel It. “You’ll know it when you meet your soulmate” is such misleading advice. When you meet your soulmate for the first time, you feel it rather than know it. You definitely won’t overlook it—meeting someone for the first time and being overwhelmed by happiness, flooded with relief or randomly thinking to yourself, “Oh there you are!” before you’ve exchanged a single word is hard to miss—but it’s not a logical thought process that you’ll “know” when it pops up. Instead, you’ll feel it in your gut… and probably try to pin it on something you ate to keep you from feeling so crazy.
  4. When You’re With “The One,” You Know It.  You can see it, explain it and understand it —when you’re with that one perfect person for you, you know it. You fell in love with him because he makes you laugh, always puts you first, shares common goals, cares enough to work at smoothing over the rough patches and, although he doesn’t always get your emotions, he tries to understand where you’re coming from because he loves you—and he always makes sure you know it!
  5. Your Soulmate Usually Shows Up When You Need Them. Whether it’s to teach you something or to help you through a difficult time in your life, soulmates often show up when the time is right to complete a spiritual assignment, usually beneficial for both of you, before moving on. The idea is that, while you may be connected in the spiritual realm, you’ll still have separate goals to fulfill in life and might only meet up briefly, for support or to teach an important lesson, before continuing down separate paths.
  6. “The One” Comes Along When You’re Ready. When you know yourself and you’re ready to be loved for who you are, “The One” will finally show up. Once you figure out who you are and love yourself for it, you’ll be able to recognize your life partner when he comes along. This will usually be a person who’s at a similar point in their life as you and who’ll stick around long enough to prove themselves worthy of your trust, laying the foundation for a healthy relationship. 
  7. Soulmate Relationships Are Intense. Being romantically involved with your soulmate can be incredibly intense—and because you’re so closely linked and you feel what the other is feeling, it can become consuming. While sharing the warm and fuzzy feelings is amazing, turbulent emotions also become magnified and soulmates tend to become easily distraught when faced with their partner’s pain.
  8. A Relationship With “The One” Is Balanced. It will hurt your life partner to see you suffer and they’ll do anything they can to ease the pain, but while they should understand what you feel, they don’t necessarily feel it themselves. This makes them much more capable of keeping a cool head and helping you gain perspective on the issue at hand.
  9. You And Your Soulmate Have A Mental/Spiritual Connection. Soulmates often know what the other is thinking or feeling without a single word being spoken and are often deeply content spending prolonged periods of time together in complete silence. They also anticipate what the other is about to say or do, and soulmates usually develop the habit of completing each other’s sentences (so cliché, but true).
  10. “The One” Will Stick Around Long Enough To Build An Unshakable Emotional Connection. Don’t expect to bond overnight. Your life partner will earn your trust by loving you enough to stand by you even when things get shaky. As he proves his commitment and dependability and you open up and give more of yourself, strong emotional bonds are forged.
  11. Your Soulmate Mirrors Your Strengths and Weaknesses. One of the reasons your soulmate understands you so well is because they almost always share your beliefs and habits (or once did). Soulmates are more likely to embrace and sometimes even love each other’s quirks. Your soulmate will understand and love you deeply regardless of your flaws—his intrinsic motivation for being with you is simply to be with you!
  12. “The One” Will Grow With YouApart from supporting each other, life partners make a commitment to embark on a life long journey with one another, learning from past mistakes and overcoming weaknesses together. Things might not always be perfect, but if he’s the right one for you, he’ll always be willing to work on it—and so will you!
Driven by passion and fueled by caffeine, Erica is a freethinking artist, writer and student of life. She hopes to someday have enough time to take up a hobby or two to add to her bio ;)