For awhile now, I’ve been hopelessly jealous of a woman I know. The reason? She’s intelligent, attractive, kind, and my boyfriend loves her unconditionally. Call me crazy, but I’m uncontrollably jealous of my boyfriend’s mom.
She’s the woman he’ll always love most.
Alright, alright, I’m not saying that I would ever expect my boyfriend to love me more than his own mother, but the harsh reality is that whatever I do, I’m never going to stand a chance compared to her. I might love my BF with all my heart and soul but nothing beats flesh and blood and we both know it.
She’s a career woman with an amazing family.
The whole jealousy thing is made harder by the fact that my BF’s mom is also just an amazing woman. She has a fantastic career that she’s managed alongside raising amazing kids, the cookery skills of Ina Garten and the heart of an angel. Heck, I love her too and I’m not even related! I’d be jealous of her just for being such a cool human being, but being my BF’s mom is the icing on the cake.
She knew him before he was cool.
I can Facebook stalk to my heart’s content (and believe me, I make full use of that right) but I’ll never truly know what my boyfriend was like when he was a kid or as a moody teen blossoming into a young adult. His mom has known him at every stage of his existence so she has a far better understanding of him as a person than I can ever hope to.
She understands him in ways I never will.
There’s something about pushing a baby out of your vagina that gives you these magical mom sensing powers. My experiences with my own mother are enough to tell me that they just know when you’re happy, sad, lying, and can tell exactly what you need from one stern look. Being mother and son is a connection that’s much stronger than the one I’ll ever share with my BF.
My BF will bend over backward to make her happy.
A mama’s boy down to the ground, my BF would want to please his mom no matter what she was like as a parent. The fact that she’s so darn fantastic at it just makes him want to do it with bells on. I know it’s pathetic to be jealous, but I can’t help wishing sometimes he’d go as far out of his way to please me.
They have a shared history.
From family Christmases and life milestones to being the one he turned to when times got tough, my boyfriend and his mom have a whole bunch of shared experiences that I’ll never be able to touch. The only consolation I have for being left out of his family history is that if I was in it, I’d probably be his sister… which would make it kinda hard for us to date.
Her opinion will always be more valid than mine.
Personality-wise, my boyfriend and I sing from the same hymn sheet far more regularly than he does with his parents. Despite this, I know that she’s the one who will always have the last word. Years of living together (and those sneaky mysterious mom senses) mean that he’ll always value her opinion highly even if he disagrees with it. If push came to shove, I can’t help but think he’d side with her over me in an argument.
They have an amazing connection.
What is it about sons and their moms? My boyfriend is the oldest of his siblings and clearly has a special connection going on with his mom. It’s a relationship that I haven’t a hope of matching, but no one else in the family stands a chance either. I guess I’ll have to come to terms with second best being the closest I can get.
She’s the one he cares about impressing.
Don’t get me wrong, my BF does nice things for me. He buys thoughtful gifts, lets me know he’s thinking of me and takes me on romantic dates. When it comes to wanting to impress, though, there’s one person who counts: his mom. I know that when the big moments in his life come around, he’ll want her there to enjoy them as much, if not more, than me.
She’ll always be in his life.
I guess the reason I feel threatened by my boyfriend’s mom is knowing that whatever happens, she’ll always be there. She gave birth to him and regardless of who he dates, she’ll always be there as he gets older. I’ll have a pretty hard job filling those shoes if I stay with my BF, so perhaps rather than replace them, I’ll learn to stand alongside them with good grace.
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